I hate guns and advocate stridently for increased regulation, but I would probably jump at the chance to own a pimped-out A-10 Warthog if one became available on the open market.

Never slap Chuck Norris in the face with your dick. You might not see it again for a good long while.

It goes without saying that no cool person would ever be caught dead declaring themselves to be cool. I'm pretty sure nobody at the Warhol Factory ever uttered the word. Nor would any cool person in a million years arrive independently at the conclusion that their offspring finds them to be cool. So - to summarize: plus-size lady at the mall nattering on about how psyched her daughter is to have her as her mom is probably not as cool as she thinks. Oh and if plus-size mom is intellectually honest with herself, she is mad that she can't buy clothing at the store with the huge photo campaigns vaguely suggestive of various rape scenarios. Photo campaigns aimed at getting her daughter to imagine herself at the center of some rather exploitative encounters. This tendency of plus-size mom is also considerably weighing against her cool factor. Perhaps it's time she cracked open a book on Marshall McLuhan or the films of Haskell Wexler and get back to us in a little while.

Just as long as they continue with the photo campaigns of nearly pre-pubescent/barely post-pubescent groups of kids about to orgy their fucking minds out. Because it's a long way between the mall and my laptop porn stash. Wait. Unless I BRING my laptop with me to the mall... Ooh. Genius.

I'm still trying to wrap my brain around Google selling anything...

That would be great.

If you are looking for someone to do a morning porn round-up, I know a...um...person...

Meth addict, clearly. With issues.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but they are free to keep their kids out of school they just won't receive any accreditation or record of achievement or skills or ability to get a job. Seems like a fair trade off to me.

I don't recall any of this.