This was a powerful article.

When I was about 30 I got a job as a tutor in a university department via a female friend who, although she didn't work there, knew the department was seeking someone with my qualifications because her husband worked there and had told her they needed another tutor. I applied, got the job and worked there a year before finding a permanent job elsewhere on campus.

The husband occasionally turned up uninvited at my house and got angry when I wouldn't let him in. He also kept inviting me for coffee. I declined. Eventually her retired, but would still send me messages I interpreted as semi-seductive. They made me very uncomfortable and also very angry. I never told his wife because she was a friend and I didn't want to hurt her feelings. I did however discover that he had a reputation for "flirting" with female students. The "flirtations" seemed to be unwelcome and the student flirtees I was aware of felt victimised.

The last time I heard from him he was careful to "remind" me that he had got me the tutoring job. The subtext seemed to be that he believed I owed him for this generosity. I did not respond and have not heard from him since. He had not got me the job. I had the right qualifications, could start at once and passed the interview. The interview was a panel interview. He wasn't on it that I recall. I earned the job and I did an excellent job, which is why the department was so sorry to see me go.

Reading this article I now feel I should have replied to him and made this clear. But at the time I just didn't want to have to engage with him or to have a distorted version of this get back to his wife.