You're probably right!

I also got the feeling that he was possibly indulging in a little exotic fantasy -- like, ooooh check out the Muslim ladies -- how foreign and other. But until you mentioned it, I didn't think that he may have also been pulling the subservient card! Why of course I'd speak with him and submit to his questioning. I must obviously do that anyway *rolleyesbarf*

Thanks for commenting!

I totally hear you. I honestly don't know why some people find it so easy to discredit others based on looks, beliefs, and grossly because of one's personhood -- and claim to be a part of a universal religion.

Well I connect with your comment :) And absolutely agree. I'm always a little creeped out when I see the CK hijabs and Abayas.

I don't own a designer abaya, but did have one made for me -- from a corner shop in a Bedouin-dominated strip mall, run and designed by a woman who owned the shop herself. It's a beautiful, sturdy piece of clothing that I've adored many times.

I miss the Gulf too.

Thanks KJB!

I think what I loved the most about this book is that it's not out to convert or convince anyone about religion.

I have a million uses for left over potatoes! If they've been baked with a chicken in the oven, I take the potato pieces, fry them with some egg and onion and *poof* Spanish potatoes.

My left over mashed potatoes become a delicious ball of nomming goodness that my MIL taught me. I don't even know if it has a name -- but it's like a Middle Eastern Sheppard's pie.

Form scoops of left over mash and breadcrumbs into little balls -- put spiced ground beef and veggies in the center. Deep fry. Eat!

Sadly, only in my dreams.

However, I've recently learned that the Masjid ul Islam in Johannesburg, South Africa, has a progressive outlook to mosque community -- with men and women standing side by side, day care services and other inclusive programs.

And of course, there are always the LGTBQ and gender friendly El-Tawhid circles that are scattered throughout North America. They're not mosques -- but at least they help to create a friendly space at least once a week.

Okay, I know right off the bat there is a HIGHLY UNLIKELY chance that you'd find a woman in burqa grouped with a picture of hawt bikini-clad models. When women cover to remove the sexualisation of their bodies, it kind of removes them from the equation. But that doesn't stop popular Muslim fashion magazines from choosing hijab and abaya clad models who are thin, light skinned and able bodied.

Which Muslim women then dangerously internalize. I've heard plenty of young girls say that so-and-so looks so AMAZING in her abaya because she's "not fat" and the garment just drapes over her frame -- or even "I'm too fat to wear hijab -- it makes me look bigger." A lot of this also has to do generally with women consuming what the media considers beautiful too (I'm not saying body obsession among Muslim communities is related only to Muslim fashion mags. There are a lot of influence.. including family!).

And what I've been experiencing lately is what many pregnant women experience -- the policing of our pregnant bodies. Don't jump. Don't run. Is that decaf tea you're drinking? Eat more. Eat less, you've gained too much weight! It's a boy, I can tell by your ass. All of which makes me even more negatively self-aware BECAUSE I wear hijab, and damnit, you shouldn't be looking at my body like that anyway!

Great article Renee -- I've seen the same picture floating around my FB list too!

Hi sossajes -- thanks for the compliment. I'm always apprehensive when I publish, so it's good to hear some feedback :)

I'm going to say that it is not common to have mosques with shared prayer spaces (but I'm adding a "but"). They were common.. however, over the last decade the barrier has increased. The film "Me and the Mosque" by Zarqa Nawaz tracks this phenomena -- and in 2005 a study was released saying that (out of 500 American mosques) 66% had barriers in 2000.

Here's the "but" -- in larger cities there are more options for Muslims simply because there are more of us. I am incredibly privileged that I have the choice of at least 5 mosques in my area with shared space. Two of which are gender and LGTBQ inclusive. There are probably 50 more in my area with a barrier.

But a Muslim living in Alberta, with a small Muslim population, might only have one mosque option. And that option is usually segregated.

Demographics help as well. From what I understand there are fewer barriers in the Black American Muslim population -- more in South Asian and Arab communities. Maybe there are fewer barriers in mosques that have second generation Muslims as imams... but that's just a theory.

Hi sossajes -- thanks for the compliment. I'm always apprehensive when I publish, so it's good to hear some feedback :)

I'm going to say that it is not common to have mosques with shared prayer spaces (but I'm adding a "but"). They were common.. however, over the last decade it's increased. The film "Me and the Mosque" by Zarqa Nawaz tracks this phenomena -- and in 2005 a study was released saying that (out of 500 American mosques) 66% had barriers in 2000.

Here's the "but" -- in larger cities there are more options for Muslims simply because there are more of us. I am incredibly privileged that I have the choice of at least 5 mosques in my area with shared space. Two of which are gender and LGTBQ inclusive. There are probably 50 more in my area with a barrier.

But a Muslim living in Alberta, with a small Muslim population, might only have one mosque option. And that option is usually segregated.

Demographics help as well. From what I understand there are fewer barriers in the Black American Muslim population -- more in South Asian and Arab communities. Maybe there are fewer barriers in mosques that have second generation Muslims as imams... but that's just a theory.

This might be a little bit of a stretch, but you mentioning the removal of choice resonated with me.

Some Muslim men sometimes remove themselves from mixed gender situations because they "feel" it will make the women "feel" more comfortable. So you end up with "naturally occurring" gender segregation at mixed parties, or never meeting your best friend's husband outside of a simple "hello" before he makes himself conveniently "unavailable."

Once when a good friend came over, the Hubby "busied" himself cleaning the bathroom (when I really wanted him to be serving us tea and peeled grapes). I interrupted him to ask WTH he was doing when he should be enjoying my friend's company. He replied that he didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable with his presence. I lost it and said he had no right to remove HER agency from making that choice herself. And that if my husband made her uncomfortable, she has the voice and power to say so.

It's similar to reclaiming slurs by people who cannot have that slur used against them, as Sparky says.

(We prefer vulva. Though, I guess I could always use “Muschi” — a kind of German pet name for your sweetest friend, your cat, or a nice way of saying pussy. My mom raised me to call my private area Muschi.)