wow. Julia, I'm so proud of your sharing. (for the outsiders...Julia is my little sister). your words are both beautiful and painful, both comforting and challenging. thank you.

Grant, though at times I feel like an abused child going back to the very parents who have hurt me...I know that they too can find God and become the church that God has called them to be. I think we all at times get to a place where the "thing" (insert - career, relationship, ministry, etc) begins to transform our passions and desires...where we lose sight of the plan and purpose of God and become driven by the very thing that used to give Him glory.

Love the post Grant.

Was thinking about this for a while. To me, whether we are "blessed/cursed" with money...is not really the issue. Our love and adoration for God should be the consistent in any situation. I think that is part of what we learn from Job. I am also reminded of the young men in the fire filled furnace, who chose to remain faithful even if God didn't deliver them.

This is the heart we desire. The heart that is not dictated by circumstances.

What is comes down to is that God's love & provision is not really about finances. I think of the children in 3rd world countries who will die today because of starvation. Did God not love them? Or, perhaps God does love them and has provided something more real and relevant than we can truly grasp. In America, we somehow have merged God's love and provision with making sure we can eat out and have a decent place to live...making sure we find a good mate or enjoy our job. But, this kind of theology doesn't translate well to those in the world who may never experience any of these things, yet still have a real connection to God.

My desire is that our awe of God is never moved by things, but by true appreciation and gratefulness of His actual presence...the awesome fact that He is just there.
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for the record...I am very proud of you as well. I know sometimes the outside world may think the Swodeck family loves chaos...but it is not chaos we love, but truth. I think sometimes, that growing up in church, we were sold a bill of goods that was unhealthy and unattainable. The journey to know truth IS THE PLAN God had for us....the daily evolution and development of truth is what what builds relationship with our creator.

Your oldest brother,
Joshua
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wow . this opened up some unhealed wounds. about 9 months ago, i was "let go" from a staff position at the church we attended for almost 8 years. i was like...WTF. i've been around the block and had no desire to work at sbux or some other "starter" job. I got a family.

once i got over myself and moved on, i was set for new opportunities. never did find a job, just started a company with my brother and a couple other guys. it was scary as %$&^%$!

one thing i realized...it's not about achieving some ridiculous goal...it's about the journey. i began to just enjoy and appreciate the journey.

grant, thanks for being open. you are the man.
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Cigar Aficionado. Wait, am I allowed to share that here? I guess it's cool...just "confessing safe sins". http://stuffchristianslike.net/2009/03/502-confes...

Jon, I just had an idea. What if we came up with our own fast...I will call mine the "Swodeck Fast" and I will abstain from squash, split pea soup & all sorts of "unclean" road kill. My fast will last a lifetime instead of those little 20-40 fasts that the other so-called spiritual folks are doing. I will give all recognition to the fast for any "good" things that happen in my lifetime. All "bad" things will merely be blamed on the enemy. Then maybe in 2000 years someone will write a book on doing the "Swodeck Fast" and someone else will write a blog post on the validity of it. I will be famous.