I see the dilemma. Saying "don't feel aversion" is a little like saying "don't go up" to a helium balloon. Feelings are what they are and trying to control them isn't usually the best tool.

But our job, the way I understand what the Church teaches, is to treat other humans with respect, while the definition of "aversion" includes words like "repugnance", "disgust", "intense dislike". It's the people I'm referring to, not the homosexual's feelings or the acts.

Acceptance doesn't mean "it's all right with me," any more than forgiveness means "it's okay that you did that bad thing." Instead, it's the realization that their soul's state is between them and God. Protecting our children from facts that are more than they can handle is part of prudent parenthood. Instilling aversion and disgust in them not only brings fear along with it, it might set up a sin pattern where the child experiences spiritual pride and contempt whenever they see someone acting in a way they don't consider proper. Those responses are antithetical to love.

We're not passive as parents. We're active. But we're not only protecting them from premature encounters with disordered sexuality. We're trying to bring them to an inner knowledge of Christ and the ability to wrestle with questions like "What does love look like when the object is a sinner whose sin I find particularly disturbing?"

Knee-jerk emotions may be genuine, but if not dealt with they can get us into trouble. (Think about the the effects on ourselves and others of knee-jerk anger.) If we can't get past a built-in hostility or disgust, the confessional is a good place to start. Counseling helps too.

I understand Stacy's feelings. However, it's probably true that the gradual changes in society mean that we will have to figure out how to talk to our kids about homosexual couples and the like. We may resent that we have to deal with it, but we're going to have to figure out how to deal with it. I hope Stacy has a like-spirited community of friends who can provide mutual support.

However, I didn't read that Stacy's concern is "to be able to take her little girl someplace without subjecting her to gays making out in public." Instead, she's tied up in anxious knots about seeing same-sex couples showing signs that they are, in fact, a couple by holding hands, looking at one another affectionately, rubbing backs, etc. I yield to no one in the congruence of my own convictions with the Church's teachings, but I feel that hers is an overly-strong reaction.

In the reality of our world, we need to learn how to train up our children in all the virtues and knowledge of what love looks like when it encounters something that we strongly object to (or are even disgusted by). When raising my kids, we had to navigate through the issues of an unmarried couple next door and a beloved uncle in a three-person homosexual relationship. My husband and I decided how we'd address questions, and ended up proactively and age-appropriately talking to them about the situations and what our family's perspective was.

If caught in the situation of a loud public question from a child (every parent's nightmare), you can always say, "That's true [that's interesting, hmmmm]. Let's talk about it later at home." For this to work, though, the parent has to work through the part of themselves with the strong aversion. Kids pick up stuff like that like lightning.

Remember, we're not approving. We're not "tolerating". We're accepting that things are the way they are and we're doing our darndest to live in love and peace as far as it depends on us. (Rom. 12:18)