hilarious.

The pain sucks, no doubt about it. I'm glad to hear that you're determined to keep on giving love. For my part, it was all of my "failures" that prepared me for the right relationship - when I, the world, and my wife-to-be were all ready for it.

Of course, even now, the learning process continues.

I wish you speedy healing, insightful processing, and all the love you can handle. Maybe even a little more. OK, a lot more. Blessings.

oops - should have replied directly - see comment below! The retraining that you mention certainly mars the "convenience" of diapers...later on.

Yes, we looked into that (and have some friends who are doing that with their kids). I have to admit that having the discipline to do that from birth would have probably required more than a sticker chart for me! But I celebrate you for pulling it off! It's definitely worth checking into for anyone with chitlins (and it is, pretty much, the easiest thing to do with puppies - although take them outside, not to the toilet. As amusing as that would be for you).

Really like the ending too (quoted below) - esp because I think that in these moments, if people find the strength to give (instead of focusing on what's lacking in what they're receiving), they will be more likely to experience those breakthroughs:

While there are clearly some relationships that were never a good idea to begin with, many more suffer under the weight of doing them. I am no stranger to the place of wanting to cry uncle and just give up what can feel like a herculean effort to keep things clear and healthy. In the years of seeking this place over and over, the one single lesson that gets easier to remember is that, it is usually right when things are about to shift and open up when many people give up. The breakthrough is usually less than a step away. Sadly, this is the loss in quitting; you don’t know how close you were to what you wanted when you shut the door.

I was just writing on EJ about bringing joy into the lives of others - thank you for bringing some to mine!