(Continued here...my post was too long...haha)

A few things I try and implement in my own modesty journey are:

1) No cleavage rule. (V-necks are almost always not helpful. Tankinis are my BFF. Large chested women have told me it's not possible to cover up their cleavage. Ummm...yeah...ok. It's possible! Trust me. But, you have to want to.)

2) If I wear a tank-top or strapless top, I make sure I am at an appropriate function (with the girls, at a picnic outdoors, when it's super hot out, etc.) and I make sure no cleavage is showing and that it's not too tight or form fitting.

3) Dresses these days are more like shirts. Let's be honest. I bought 2 dresses at Forever 21 yesterday and the tags said "Dress". Yeah right!? I will be wearing mine with jeans or leggings as a tunic. Upper thigh exposure is a no-no in my world.

4) No bra straps exposed...that's just tacky. :)

5) I am a born and raised South Florida beach girl...bathing suits are tough. But, it's not about me. So, I stick with tankinis and cute vintage-inspired one pieces. I will glam them up with a brooch and throw a sarong on and a big floppy hat to go with it. It's super cute and modest. If you wear the big chunky sunglasses with it, people may even think you are a celebrity. Wink. ;-)

We live in a depraved and sin-filled world. Men and women will always be fighting against lust, attention, etc. Churches need to teach their men to be men. Respect women. Lead your families. Care for and protect your wife. Women need to respect themselves (and men too...hehe), honor God by honoring their bodies, and be know for the good works they do instead of how the look or who's attention they are seeking. You are accountable for YOU. You are not responsible for how someone else sees you or for their relationship or non-relationship with God. You have to make the choice. It's a good choice to make. A God-honoring choice.

Anyhow, that's it for me. Just my two sense. The Gospel is not an American Gospel...it's THE Gospel to the ends of the earth. Scripture is applicable in every tongue and ever tribe and every nation. In light of the Gospel at work in our lives, we should be desiring to be more like Jesus and less like the world in every area of our life. Modesty is one of those areas. In a sex-saturated culture, I will try my best to pave the way for the "modest is hottest" mentality...for God's glory! :)

Happy weekend!! :)

Joyfully,
Melissa *Elswick www.melissaelswick.com
Twitter: @melissaelswick

(PS: I haven't read through all of the comments above, so nothing I have said in my comment response is aimed at anyone specifically. Just my two sense to add to the dialogue. Thanks!)

Great topic!

I am a Pastor's wife/church planters wife in sunny South Florida where 90 degree weather is the norm. Ft. Lauderdale and Miami is filled with an incredibly wide range of clothing choices. :) I hear what you are saying about modesty being first an issue of the heart. But, with a topic that is not only addressed in scripture, but also taboo in our culture today, I think we as believers have to take a stand one way or the other. This is one of those issues that may have some gray areas but for the most part, we can determine what is helpful and not helpful when choosing what to wear. (I think there are some major obvious no-no's and then some things that are negotiable.)

Of course it starts with a heart check and then should flesh out into practical tips to encourage young girls and women to make wise choices about their clothing, etc. You can be trendy and modest. It takes some hard work though. You have to be creative and intentional.

Being married for almost 8 years now, my husband is my best guide towards achieving modesty. I think that when I choose modesty, I honor my husband and our martial covenant. It sends a loud message to my husband and to the world that I don't seek any mans attention or any woman (or mans) approval. My womanly features (which are often the parts that are exposed when dressed immodestly) are reserved only for my husband within the privacy of our marriage relationship. We need to set this example for the next generation constantly. I love to shop and love trends and fashion...but the culture cannot set the bar for how I will dress..or speak...or act.

We have to make a difference in the world, by being different from the world. If we are not different, how will a lost and dying world know the grace and freedom found in Jesus' work on the cross?

I love how CJ Mahaney defines modesty: "For a Christian woman, modesty is humility exemplified in the way we dress." I just love that! It's so practical and so true! :)

I don't think modesty should be a legalistic task but instead should be a desire for all believers to strive for so that even in the area of clothing, God would be glorified and the world would look and say, wow, Christians don't need to be known by what they wear but are known for what they do and Who they do it for.

There is an interesting survey done by The Rebelution blog on a guys take on modesty: http://www.therebelution.com/modestysurvey/

From a Pastor's wife who loves to shop and loves to be on the up and up with the latest trends, I can say that modesty takes some planning and intentionality. Even some simple and practical tips can help women make small steps towards seeing the way they dress as an opportunity to glorify God and to honor their husbands (or future husbands).

At our church, I always try and set a good example in this area. It's a sensitive issue but one that can be addresses with grace and care. I had a lady a few years ago bend over to retrieve a Bible from underneath a cabinet at our Welcome Center. I immediately could see down her shirt as she bent over. I walked over to her and quietly whispered in her ear: "Hey chica, don't forget to put your hand over your blouse when you bend over." I hugged her to affirm her and she said, "Oh my goodness, I didn't even realize that! Thank you so much for pointing that out to me!" Gentleness and grace will go a long way when dealing with a sensitive issue like this. There have been times though when those conversations haven't gone so well. Haha. Again, God has to do the work in the heart first...some women just aren't ready to receive gentle correction and are not willing to let go of their need for attention or whatever the reason may be... We are all in different places but we have to be willing to care for one another and spur one another on towards becoming more like Jesus and less about ourselves.

(Continued...)