We adopted our son when he was 7. We changed his name...his first name and last name as well as added another middle name. Honestly, we thought that he wouldn't even notice since he went by a nickname anyway. But as adoption day crept closer, he announced to us that he wanted everyone to call him by his new name and NOT to use his nick name anymore. We were stunned, but honored his request.
There were a lot of people who advised against the name change, but we pushed forward with it and I'm glad for it. For our son, it marks the point in time where he became a member of our family; the turn of the page for him. He knows who he is, and what he was called. He is settled with who he is now and how his name came to be.
It's not the right choice for all parents to change a child's name at adoption, but for some, it works. Our decision to change his name was not about the color of his skin, eyes or ancestral background. His birth name was one that we could not reconcile ourselves to. It would have meant a lifetime of US thinking of the parents who mistreated him every time we said his name. WE needed a clean break from that name as much as our son did and he opened the door for that to happen. Although we kept this information to ourselves, I think he felt it too. My heart split when he told me he was ready to leave his old life behind and move on. I celebrated because that made me feel good. I cried for the birth parents he was walking away from because I can't even begin to imagine life from that side of the fence. Their mistakes put him with us, but that doesn't mean they didn't love him. (That's hard to admit sometimes even now)
I guess it boils down to knowing your child and what would be best for them in the long run. We needed a change, and our son allowed that to happen and embraced it before we did.
Whether or not to change your adopted child's name is as individual a decision as choosing your biological children's names at birth. There is no "one size fits all" solution.

Oh wow... Ok, so in the last seven years I've adopted 2 kids. The first one was a bright, spunky little 6 yr old girl who has the most beautiful blue eyes! She is now 13 (a TEENager!) and is amazing, athletic, warm, funny, bright kid! Then there was this bright, not quite as spunky lil 6 yr old boy. He is now 11 and has evolved into a charming, likeable, smart (oh so very smart) athletic boy. He has a passion for reading, and is just a sponge when it comes to learning! And his Spirit....wow is this kid connected! He truly has a heart for God!

But they wouldn't be with me if I hadn't had Jingo first. And we lost him recently. For most people, it's tough to lose a pet. But this broke....shattered...my heart. He taught me everything I need to know about myself when it comes to being a parent. He blazed the path for my kids and not a day goes by that I don't think about him and miss him.

Oh...and I'm working again. Guess I should get back to it!

If money isn't an issue, hire the movers to pack and move you. If you have to do it yourself, dump what you don't need/use, buy some boxes from U-Haul, gather up all the friends you can and have a packing party. Don't bother with used boxes....they stink for important stuff. And it just occurred to me...compare the cost of new cardboard boxes to the cost of the plastic totes from home depot...Not sure if it's cheaper but it might be useful for some stuff. And you can re-use them. (wish I'd thought of that a few years ago...might have saved me some trouble when the flooding happened last year!) I guess, just do it. That's the best I've got! Good luck!!!

*wiping away tears...."He put his foot down." His love fought for her." ...my heart breaks again. (*wants to question Him about this subject) I know that He knows the bigger picture and yes, He loves me too. He's just shown me in different ways.

...and I thought we were gonna play captionate! So,

First kid: Goooooooooo!!!!!!!!
Second kid: I didn't realize he could actually speak.
Third kid: Heh. Wez gettin poked!
Fourth kid: I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.
Fifth kid: Stop tickling me
Sixth kid: I know I failed that test, but I didn't think THIS would happen

You never cease to make me think... :)

wow...ok.

After a divorce I can say that the whole thing really changed my perspective on marriage and what it takes to be "successful"

I don't think any marriage is really a success or a failure. I think the measure of the marriage is based in how the individuals grow and learn, or not, through out the lifetime of the relationship. A relationship that doesn't grow and change isn't a healthy one.

I think, for me, what sums up a healthy marriage more than anything are the words from The Prophet:

Then Almitra spoke again and said, "And what of Marriage, master?" And he answered saying: You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore. You shall be together when white wings of death scatter your days. Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God. But let there be spaces in your togetherness, and let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together, yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each others shadow.

These words were read at our wedding. And I rely on them sometimes when I need to be reminded of what it is that I am part of. I am not him, and he is not me, but together we are one. Knowing that I can be me...just me....not me with him, not me because of him, but just me, is something that I really learned after being divorced and single for a long time before becoming involved again. And it was a growing time. And now I know I must continue to grow in my own life, just as he does in his life, and we do in our life together...

Ok...I think that's it!

Well, for some reason, my comment didn't make it!
I'm not shy and I'm not afraid of public speaking...I actually enjoy it. But I'm afraid of doctors. After nearly 20 surgeries, it still surprises me how I react to not just doctors, but even physical therapists. Full on panic. Seriously. I hate it.

I'm not shy. I'm not really an introvert. I'm not afraid of public speaking, in fact, I enjoy it. But something that might be a surprise is that I'm really afraid of doctors. And I've had nearly 20 surgeries...17 of them orthopedic meaning there has been physical therapy involved. And that's just as bad as going to the doctor. Really. Full on panic attacks...

Tam thank you for sharing all this. Very scary stuff. Very eye opening too. Glad Brent, and you and Kass and Kota, are all ok after this horrible ordeal. I really appreciate how you can look at this...with an appreciation for what God can do, what he has done and how you can heed the warning and take action. Praying for you all that this would be the only time you ever have to experience this. God bless you all!