My take was that he self-censored the part about him brandishing a 9mm. Think that sort of thing is frowned on up there.

That's not a pro, it's a con. If it wasn't for y'all, Mexico would be Texican. Can you imagine what we would have done to that place in the ensuing 177 years? It would have been dotted with redneck trailers, ATV shops, meth labs, BBQ joints, and Coors Light cans from Baja to Guatemala.

Only Cuernavaca would've survived as the place we cordon off for hippies.

It would've been a PARADISE ON EARTH.

Apparently "gimmicks" and "schemes" are code for "having decent tax attorneys" and "being able to navigate existing tax law."

Tell me, why is it "sake?" Is this not the proper term?

-Dude that "enjoys" "beer" and other "alcohol" including "sake"

3 random thoughts, here:
1. I could look just as idiotic for a tiny fraction of 600 grand.
2. Everybody wants to be king of a kingdom, and I suppose that sadly includes your walk-in closet.
3. I bet his wife isn't worried. At all. Nope, not one little bit.

I don't know which is more idiotic, Dennis freaking Rodman doing amateur international diplomacy or Kim Jong Un fancying that he could wage a grownup war in any legitimate sense.

Bess, I'm telling you, distant foreign outpost or not, this is your dude.

I love the all-caps plea in Mardi Gras colored letters at the bottom of the eBay listing:

"PLEASE DO NOT DRINK AND BID"

"...the quite horribly named rifle maker Savage Sports."

Tell me about it.
-Viet Cong, circa 1968

Same here. I have the image of him screaming uncontrollably as he rolls into the ditch at 15mph on fumes.