Yes, confidence is sexy, yes fitness is sexy but that's not what the popular media is talking about when they refer to mothers as being "hot" or "not". When we are bombarded with stories in the popular media about "How to lose the Mummy Tummy" and constantly shown pictures of celebrities looking fabulous a few weeks after giving birth, the message to ordinary mums is that they don't measure up.

There's nothing wrong with a woman wanting to look her best if that's important to her. However, mothers shouldn't be made to feel guilty if being "hot" is not their first priority. There is a subtext in many popular media stories that suggests women should be striving to keep in shape in order to please their man. Telling mothers they need to be "hot" to keep their husbands interested is not empowering to women. It's not confidence boosting, in fact quite the opposite.

Of course, it's great to have a wonderful sex life with your partner. Of course it's fantastic to feel desirable, but women shouldn't be made to feel entirely responsible for this. Nor should they feel that a certain appearance is required for them to valued by their partner, or anyone else for that matter.