I'm pretty sure the statement is this: "You can pick your friends and you can pick you nose, but you can't wipe your friends on the couch." :)
Sam, I agree with a lot of what you're saying. Henry, I understand where you're coming from as well. Still, I want to be very careful as to the friends my children keep. One encouragements I give parents all the time IS to "pick your child's friends." Why? Because children are very impressionable and these kids are MY responsibility, as such, I need to be hands-on in this process as long as I possibly can. There will be a time when I can not choose their friends any longer, but until that time I'll help guide them to and from good and bad influences. The younger the child- the more "protection". As the child gets older (school age) my role as a parent shifts from "protecting" to "teaching". Guiding my child through relationships is all about continual communication and creating an environment for openness and honest. The foundation for this is built very early on. I do use phrases such as "I'm not sure (that girl) is the best person to have as a friend... and here's why..." The younger the kids are the harder it is to explain "you need to be a good influence on them, without them being a bad influence on you." As my kids have gotten older (and I have 5) we've been able to discuss friendships more and more. AND 9 times out of 10 - they bring it up.
Sleepovers... We've only allowed them to sleep over at relatives and VERY CLOSE family friends. We've just taught them early on that there are some things that we do differently than other families... and this is one of those things.
Just a few of my thoughts.
~ Joe

Great stuff Sam, another practical tip that my mom and dad always suggests is to be the neighborhood chauffeur. Parents will be amazed at what their children say to their friends on the way to soccer. They say it as if there is an invisible shield between them and the front seat. When you're the parent that always drives, you'll learn all kinds of things about you child and their friends.
Owned by God,
~ Joe

Awesome environment! It's one thing to say you can speak their (kids) language, and another to actually speak their language! :)

This is really great resources. Far too many parents expect "their child" to be the exception to the rule when in reality Satan is actively engaged in our culture and is eager to short-circuit our children at very young ages. Parent's need to be smart...be proactive... and be confident that 1 John 4:4 is true:

"You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world."

Been following and praying for you and your family over the last few weeks.

Great survey! Hope you get a lot of good feedback.

Great topic! Thanks for your vulnerability! It's amazing how many lessons we learn from experiences like this. I remember a time when I let a young guy lead our large group time. It was going to be a good experience. He prepped the whole thing on his own. - After walking in to a Britney Spears music video (which he thought was culturally relevant) followed by a very off color clip from a PG 13 movie...I took over ...made a lot of apologies ... and learned a lesson that sometimes teens (and even your 20's like this guy) have great hearts, but still are not parents. After that - I formed a volunteer leadership team made up of parent of children of all ages.