I am currently writing a research paper on this very topic.

Perhaps the husband could show some love for his wife by being understanding and supportive, by listening to the fact that something about him acts as a trigger for her. I don't know how open marriages work exactly as I am not in that type of relationship, but it seems that if one has an open marriage, one runs the risk of his spouse getting her needs better met by someone else.

And. Dan Savage ought to be ashamed of himself. What a thoughtless ass.

Receiving food stamps does not always mean one is not gainfully employed. There are many people who work and get food stamps because their wages are not enough to cover the ever-rising cost of living.

That "Can't feed 'em, don't breed 'em" attitude from which your privileged comment may spring just doesn't gel. Ever consider that one may have worked her/his entire life until the company she/he worked for sent jobs overseas? Or that one may become ill, or any number of reasons a person could find her/him- self in transition be in need of assistance? The goverment does not earn the money they spend on weapons development, medical research or public assistance- but that's okay somehow?

Americans are always talking about "less government"- unless it has to do with the poor. The way poor people are treated in the states is truly disgusting.

"While he is eliminating the purchase of soda, will Bloomberg also reduce the cost of things like orange juice to make it more affordable?"

Yes! Yes! And amen!

The fact that that commentor was able, and felt able, to just ignore the facts (he probably wouldn't even have thought to break it down in such a way, and I feel that I can safely presume that he would only be compelled to do so if there were hardly any white people on the list) shows his privilege.

Given his comment, he seems a bit out of sorts. Pointing out privilege and inequity is not the same as hating or being anti- anything. The truth hurts sometimes. If only he could open his heart and mind to what actually IS, rather than the fairytale we've all been taught. It's scary, I know. Because then he would realize the lies, would realize that he is not at all special, but just happened to be born white, male and privileged.

I hope all goes well at the doctor.

Sorry. I'm long winded and needed to break this comment in half.

We talk about eating healthy, taking care of our skin, exercising, etc, but put chemicals on our hair that can cause blindness if it gets in our eyes! No matter how we keep our hair, we are Black women.

I don't think women who wear their hair straight are any less Black, but it is a fine line we walk. Relaxing is not healthy for our hair or skin. And it always conjures up the deep-seated idea that straight is closer to white therefore closer to 'good' and goodness. It's tricky business. And deep as the ocean. Great post. Heartbreaking video.

I had my first perm at 13, and have regretted it ever since. I liked how my hair looked coming out of the shop but my scalp was often burned and sore. My scalp was once burned so badly that the chain of a necklace scabbed to my scalp while I slept. I hated when it rained because my hair would smell burnt.

I found it difficult to maintain the look so after a while, I'd just relax the roots and scrunch my hair up with gel or wear it in a bun. For the past fifteen years, I've limited relaxing to once a year. This year, I haven't relaxed it at all as I am preparing for the big chop. I am finally going back to MY hair. I am very excited and can't wait to be beautiful with my afro. I agree with you that the most important thing about women's hair is that it be healthy, well groomed and easy to maintain.

They're all awful. I couldn't do it, Renee. You must have a great deal of fortitude to read these over and not explode with rage.

When I saw this painting, I thought of a couple of things.____As a child, I used to put a towel on my head and pretend I had long 'beautiful' hair.____The minor who was struck by a cop in Seattle recently. No one seems to really care that she is a minor. Being a young Black woman, underage, doesn't matter, We are not women or girls worthy of praise and encouragement, we are not seen as soft or precious. We're Black and deemed animal-like in this country and are treated brutally.____And this is what happens. And it is sad and wrong on so many levels and I found all of them in this piece- physically, spiritually, emotionally. I also loved Niles interpretation of the piece. Definitely a haunting image.