I absolutely loved this article, Ms. Nussbaum Cohen.

Dorothy always reminded me of Bel Kaufman's character Beatrice Schachter in Up the Down Staircase (my first major role in theatre), always strong, never wavering from tough issues and debates. Come to think of it she reminds me of all the incredible Jewish women in my life!

Thanks for posting : )

Charnie,

Is the content of her wardrobe more important than the content of her book here?

We would do well to remember she is trying to bring light to a domestic issue and not a cosmetic one.

@indiefilmgal Would be interested in your thoughts on this thread!
http://blogs.forward.com/sisterhood-blog/151714/

Hi Abe456,

Thanks for your reply. There has been a lot of discussion on this book and I am grateful you engaged me on it. If anything, I hope these exchanges continue that we can learn more from one another in this thread.

To clarify, my comment was directed at the comments on Deborah Feldman's book, as opposed to the content of Deborah's understandings of orthodoxy. I notice most people are taking issue with the latter though I think there is something to be said for analyzing the nature of public responses to her work and drawing some important observations on the status of women in Judaism. Take the comment section of this article, for example: http://www.nypost.com/p/entertainment/was_hasidic.... Almost two thirds of the comments appropriate Deborah's upbringing, weight and current choice of dress as they assess the accuracy of her book. This kind of victim-blaming concerns me; must we discount a woman's experience because it does not fit with our relationship to religion? I worry about what comment sections like this mean for other women who come out publically and talk about the abuse they suffer in marriages and communities, in general. Your point on the differences between orthodox and Hasidic individuals is well taken and I can imagine most people are reacting to Deborah with frustration because they feel misrepresented, hurt and afraid of what this portrayal will mean for friends, neighbours and family members in their midst. These are all important thoughts to consider. I just hope that when we encounter survivors of domestic violence in our Jewish communities, we can begin by acknowledging the horror of what they have gone through and the power of their story to make communities more resilient, more capable of tackling this pernicious trend.

As for my part, I am certainly grappling with the questions you asked me. I am studying Peace and Conflict Studies and Religious Studies with a concentration in Community Conflict Resolution and have become painfully aware of the patriarchal underpinnings of most institutions during my studies. Fed up and unwilling to put up, I have used my four years of schooling to explore how I can use what I have learned in the service of my Jewish community. I have been working with members of my congregation to explore dispute resolution tools (such as Family Group Conferencing) that can enhance the lives of women - and all congregants - in our midst. Outside of shul, I work in palliative and mental health contexts to offer women safe spaces to tell their stories and heal their lives. The work to end domestic violence is long and hard but worthy of Jewish hands and hearts.

I hope that, like me and Debra, you are lending yours to this important work.

With thanks for your questions,

Devon

Ms. Nussbaum Cohen,

I always enjoy your columns in the Daily Forward though was struck by how much I disagreed with your analysis of Deborah Feldman's modus operandi in her new book (and, indeed, by her choice of mini skirt).

As a woman who feels serious tension between her progressive values and the normative patriarchal praxis of her religious community, I was extremely stunned that you implied Feldman's message was questionable because she donned a miniskirt in recent press photos.

Clothes certainly send messages but so do the attitudes that are impressed upon them. I wonder what it says about the status of Jewish women that most Jewish women's comments that I have heard in reference to Feldman have been about her waistline and her immodesty. Are we all so tragically optical? Instead of sympathizing with the trauma she faced or looking into our communities for the silences they often - unknowingly - perpetuate , many women from all strands of Judaism are making the issue about how Feldman looks a certain way, and therefore, cannot be taken seriously.

Instead of talking about what she wears, how about we look into what Feldman symbolizes .For Jewish women everywhere. We can start by appreciating that she was brave enough to tell her story and to begin the long hard healing to come to terms with her upbringing and her marriage. Once we understand that Feldman's story represents the perilousness of religious communities and practices that subjugate women, we can begin to look at how religious communities can support victims of domestic violence. We can, like Jewish Women International, collect data on the women and families in our midst who suffer in silence. And then, once we understand that violence is not only a phenomena of orthodox proportions, we can start to inquire into how to transform the patriarchal underpinnings of Judaism into inclusive beliefs and practices that honour women.

This work is long, and I am happy to have you as a partner in it, though I do encourage you to consider your treatment of Feldman in your original article. For, bringing light to the use and abuse of women depends on marked openness and reflexivity in recognizing how we judge other women.

I thank you for your consideration as you read this and truly look forward to engaging you. Please keep writing and sharing your thoughts, as always.

B'shalom,

Devon