Great ideas - thank you Kate!!

Ineed some advice. My fiance and my families are SUPER religious - his is devout Catholic and my family is so religious that there are four generations of ministers in front of me. That being said, neither of us are religious and feel like we would be hypocrites to stand up there and go along with someone else's beliefs.
I actually am ordained online so i could officiate my best friend's wedding. When i had done this, my Episcopalian minister father almost literally had kittens about my decision and he is still quite miffed.
So... how does one have a non-religious wedding to appease the religious in the family? My family would not be ok with us asking a friend to get ordained as they wouldn't see it as us taking it seriously.
We are trying to work in customs from both sides of our heritage (inlcuding an Irish blessing) to make them happy but who do i ask to preside over the ceremony? Do i hire a lawyer or something?
Any ideas would be fabulous!! Thank you!!