I completely agree Dad... My perspective on this tragedy has been largely influenced by the boys.

And by the way, this came through perfectly via RSS. Looks like everything is working as it should.

Great post dad. I completely agree.

Totally agree. It starts with the parents. Now "safe-sexting"... that is funny!

I think it was Nirvana Nevermind...not sure though, it's been TOO long. I miss that crackle!

Ya, the whole meat thing is a little crazy I know! I think the lack of protein definitely plays a part of it. I say addiction, because for as long as I can remember these foods (meats, caffeine, sugar, etc.) have always been a part of my everyday (every meal) diet. And when my body is so conditioned to eating a certain way, and then I upend that and cut all that out, I can't help but think that my body is freaking out.

And yes, absolutely, the best part of this is the refocusing and prioritizing. But my favorite food group by far is meat...and that part is not fun getting used to :-) Thanks for your thoughts!

Thanks Jen! I'll keep everyone posted on my progress...it's gonna be hard, but it's gonna be really good.

Well, for me it's not about a lack of trust. I trust my wife completely. She trusts me completely. It's about the appearance to others. Not just the appearance of something inappropriate, but the appearance of an opportunity for something inappropriate to take place. I have seen and heard of too many false accusations and failures in this area to be loose with my boundaries.

Part of it has to do with the length of time another couple would stay with us. For me, it wouldn't be anything more than a short term thing. 6 months...probably too long in my opinion. I would see the situation as us helping another couple get back on their feet with the expectation that as soon as they do, they fly free. I think there's a difference between helping another couple out in the midst of extreme hardship and choosing to live with another couple when we don't have to. The only way another couple would live with my wife and I would be if it were a short term situation and that living with us was the only other option. In that case, making inconvenient sacrifices would be bothersome, but worth it. I can see how those sacrifices would become less probable in a long range living arrangement. But for my wife and I, we would choose not to be in that long term situation.

I'm a youth pastor, and there's a lot of things I choose not to do in my personal life. Are a lot of those things acceptable for Christians to do? Sure, but I choose not to do them so that no one (in my neighborhood, at my church, in my youth group) would be able to accuse me of something inappropriate.

The way my Sr. Pastor puts it is with more accountability and boundaries, comes more freedom. I would much rather live more restricted and know that I can prove my integrity at any given moment to anyone, than to live how I could live, and open myself up to the possibility of trouble later.

This is why, I choose to keep records of my email, text, MySpace and Facebook communications with my students. This is why I don't keep other women as close, personal friends. It's why we have windows on all our office doors. It's why I make all my volunteers stay until all the students are picked up. Is it overboard? Probably, but if a student/parent/church member decides to throw out an accusation, I will be able to cover my tail.

I know that there are many other opinions on this, and I sure as heck don't expect everyone to abide by what I believe to be the best way to handle things. These are just my thoughts and my experiences on this most complicated issue.

Well, I've seen situations like that before. Some are handled well, some very poorly. For my wife and I, if there were a couple who had absolutely no other option to living with us, than to go on the street, then we would take them in. But, there would be some very fine boundaries set up front.

The boundaries would most likely be something that would keep me and the other woman, or my wife and the other man from being alone together in the house at all, even for a short period of time. This would probably mean that sometimes, one of us may spend some time running errands, sitting at Starbucks or staying at the office til their spouse or the other spouse could join them at home.

Can this be inconvenient? Absolutely. And I know that a lot of people may see this as a ridiculous paranoid and legalistic, but my thought's have been that it's always far better to be safe than very sorry. I take Ephesians 5:3 quite literally and quite far when Paul says that there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality. To a lot of Christians and non-Christians alike having two married couples living together, and not taking any precautions like this, could be easily seen as a hint of immorality.

Thoughts?

We've got a policy I've used for years. None of the pastors are to be alone with another woman unless it's a family member. This is for in and out of the church and church related activities. It's not really a precaution for any lack of self-control (although every human is susceptible to temptation) but rather a precaution against any accusation of wrong doing. So I guess we take the far above reproach approach.

I have several friends who are female, but I don't interact with them on any sort of emotionally intimate level though. I have chosen to reserve that for my best friend...my wife. She deserves the entirety of my emotions, my heart and my struggles. If I were to share my intimate feelings about church, God, people, ministry and anything else with a woman besides my wife, I would be letting that woman in to a deeper and more private part of my life where the lines can be much more easily blurred. Just my thoughts!

Thanks a ton Monica for your support and for supporting John in his ministry too! I gotta say, we (especially I) have missed you on staff! I am so happy for you and John and Georgia, but my selfish side would love to have you back :-)