I understand the confusion for sure. And I've added more information in the post to clarify.

Ms.b214's reply pretty much covers it. Essentially, insurance companies have a flat amount they'll pay for a new windshield and another set amount for labor. Meanwhile, the auto glass companies get low prices through their distributors, and the labor itself probably takes a fraction of time approved. (In my case, the guy took around 40 minutes -- including have to scrape some crumbling lining off.)

The companies then pass along some or all of the difference. That's why people paying out of pocket don't get any cash back, only people with full coverage insurance.

Thanks!

To address your points separately, starting with the last one:

1. I think you didn’t carefully read or perhaps just misunderstood the extent of my saying no.

Because, yes, if someone says no to the one or two suggestions made, that definitely would cause more work.

HOWEVER, ad I said, in most cases there were a barrage of ideas fired off. I said no to SOME — but in those cases I nearly always said yes to some of the other options offered.

And in many of those cases, the ideas I said no to were brought up AFTER the rest of us had enthusiastically said yes to 1-2 of the initial bunch of ideas.

Even after it was clear there was a consensus on the first set, they’d just keep adding more.

So I wasn’t asking them to provide more ideas. In fact, it could be really frustrating because the additional options usually extended the discussion time by at least an extra 10 mins, often 15 or more.

And we usually still ended up doing one of the first set of options.

When an activity was discussed in general, not “What are we doing tonight/this weekend?” but more “Hey who’s interested in this thing I found? Should we set a date?” and it wasn’t something I was into, I’d let them know if wasn’t for me, but pretty much always said that I hoped they had fun if they decided to go.

That wasn’t always the case, but the vast majority of the time, it was. So it was very rare that anything I said no to *actually* required any extra work from the people throwing out ideas.

Meanwhile, I was doing my bit with coordinating trivia every week: asking for people’s schedules then checking to see what venues were doing trivia on those dates, then letting everyone know so we could decide where to go.

2. I will start by saying that my brain chemistry was partly at fault. As in, I think the stress of it all threw me into at least a low-level mania, which sometimes means impulsivity/lack of inhibitions. Which isn’t an excuse, just an explanation.

As I said in the post, I should’ve draw a boundary long before we got to that point. But I was raised with enmeshment issues, so I thought the only way to prove you care is to be there utterly for anyone in your life who needs you. And since I was literally one of only two people she told — I’m including family members in that — I especially felt like I needed to be there no matter what.

So I’d been supporting her for at least 2 months, but I think it’d be longer. And “supporting” meant having her feel differently almost every other day (sometimes it changed during in a single day) about the situation.

One day she’d be pissed about his crappiness, saying she was glad to be out of it and how did she put up witb him for so long, then the next it\'d be \"why isn\'t he telling me where he\'s at about whether we should try again?\"

Meanwhile, it often wasn\'t clear which day it was. So she\'d tell me something he was doing to get resettled (that she was clearly rolling her eyes about), sometimes she needed me to chime in about how ridiculous it was. Other times, I\'d get a slightly unhappy reply that it wasn\'t what she needed from me.

So it was my fault for not stepping back sooner, and mental illness doesn’t excuse publishing the diatribe, perhaps that’ll give you more insight as to both her and my states of mind.

3. So yes, I understand why she felt betrayed, and I’ve gotten much more careful about everyone having a nickname and omitting incredibly personal details without the person’s explicit permission.

So as I said in the post, she had a right to be angry/hurt. But.

She had VERY recently (maybe 3 weeks? probably less) blurted out an EXTREMELY personal piece of information about me — to the only 6 people I saw socially.

And it was something I’d ***explicitly*** said to her (just the week before) that I had decided I still wasn’t ready to share with that group.

She felt so bad that she even offered to let me tell one of her secrets.

But I told her that the only one I had was about the ex. None of them even knew she’d broken up with the guy, let alone that he’d moved out months before. At one point, someone had even asked something about her hectic home-life and she had pretended he was still living with her.

She shrugged and looked down, so she clearly wasn’t giving me the go ahead.

Even if she had, she was tipsy so I wouldn’t have trusted that she’d be okay with it once she sobered up.

So I didn’t say anything about her secret to our friends. And I guess it boiled over at some point.

(For the record, she had told our group about the breakup before I published that spending diary.)

Obviously, it was dumb of me to forget how non-bloggers (or non-social media folks, etc.) overestimate what strangers on the internet care about/remember — especially a relatively small blog like mine.

And if she’d said that she was blinded by rage and needed a break, I’d have understood and not expected to hear from her for a least a few months, probably much longer.

Instead, she ended a three-year, extremely close friendship completely, not even waiting for me to apologize. And yes, she’s allowed to decide that nothing I say will make it better and that even hearing from me just to apologize and never responding is what’s best.

Still, especially considering what had happened so recently, I think completely ending the friendship completely was a little unfair. But that’s not my call.

All I can do is take what I’ve learned and be more cautious moving forward.

I\'m not really doing smoothies for the last several months, so that means any fruit I eat is on its own. I\'m not sure how thawed-out fruit would taste. But maybe I\'ll give in a shot the next time I overbuy.

The body can get addicted to sugar/simple carbs, as I understand it, so it makes sense. Basically, at this point, I\'m trying to get just one piece of junk food (if any) per grocery delivery, which is usually once every 5 to 7 days. Mostly, I try to remind myself of the chocolate options I already have and how sweet the fruit is, so I probably don\'t need sugary stuff. It\'s still a bit hit-or-miss, but I\'m getting there.
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Also a smart way to go. \"Look at me in bold! Look at me! Don\'t forget me! Ah, okay, I\'m back to normal.\" I\'ve just been filling in with yellow.

Like you, I\'m a tad nervous about automated payments. Especially because I charge, uh, everything to the card. I\'m supposed to make a payment as soon as I run out of that week\'s funds, but life can get in the way. So when I make up the payment later -- potentially after the statement date -- I\'d have to do some mental gymnastics to be sure I was paying the right amount.

Peace of mind should always be the priority!

I\'m all about my deeply imperfect practice of frugality/personal finance -- and plenty of other things too. Glad it hit well with you.

It\'s great that you have financial freedom! I suppose that they wouldn\'t really be necessary if you have significant savings and a bank willing to loan you money.

I\'d always want at least one credit card for the FICO score boost -- even just one recurring charge -- but what matters is what works for you specifically. And it sounds like your situation is ideal for you. Which is all we can really ask for, in the end.

I think I may do that, since this card is only ever $25. I just have it recurring so they don\'t close the card because then my miles from the card would have an expiration date.

But the main issue is that I get paid only once a month. By check. In the mail. (Not an official employee, and it\'s such a small company, I\'m not sure the owner even bothers for the other 3 employees.)

The check usually shows up between the 10th and 12th (sometimes the 13th). Then I deposit it in my business account, wait for that to clear, write myself an employee paycheck, wait for that to clear, and then can start paying. So I\'m nervous about setting up automated payments, in case the money isn\'t in the account on time.

I guess I should just slowly push back due dates until the date will fall in the early 20s of the month. Amazing how things just don\'t really occur to you on their own (sigh).

I\'m glad the system works so well for you, though. And it could be a relief for me, as well.

Not a bad idea, but my main issue is that I only get paid once a month. By check. Which is mailed to me. So I get the check anywhere between the 10th to 13th (usually in the middle), deposit it in my business account, wait for that to clear, then write myself an employee check, wait for that to clear, and then the funds are in my account.

Still, since this card is going to be for so little, it probably makes sense to just automate payments.