I have been watching our Premier dance to the Big Oil tune with growing outrage. Our local newspapers will not rock the boat as Big Oil has kept us out of economic woes, but at a very, very high price. Everyone in Calgary drives a big truck and Hummers are as common as bottled water. We definitely have our heads stuck in the tar sands. We need a national intervention as this will effect all of Canada. Clearly, no one in Alberta is willing to sacrifice our cash cow even if it is foaming at the mouth and staggering around like Klein at a BBQ.

Alberta Girl

"I can't imagine my life without having kids"
Please try. This sounds like so many women I meet at the playground who are only able to talk about themselves as a wife and mother. And celebrity magazines. And judging those crazy dog lovers. I can tell that you think 'wife and mother' will be enough to make your life perfect. Many women do. Trust me when I tell you that you will not be a successful at either unless you bring a well developed sense of identity to the marriage and this is a vital part of raising your children. You husband and kids cannot make you happy; happiness stems from a strong well developed sense of self. If you think this means being a wife, you don't understand the difference between a true identity and an externalized one seeking affirmation from others. You will quickly see that no one is really interested in trying to fill up a needy and empty shell, and that spells disaster for any marriage. It also makes your parenting backbone into jello. Please...try to imagine who you would be if you weren't a wife and mother....if you can't see it...well... you are heading down a very predictable road. Don't say you weren't warned.

You only have to attend a wedding to see how our romanticized ideals on marriage re-enforce the belief that divorce will never happen to you if you are truly in love. Obviously, divorce does happen despite this sacred ceremony and we must be prepared for this possibility. This is even more true if the couple is planning on starting a family.
I am so glad that to see this article reminding us that women have other options besides motherhood. I hope that men will also carefully consider what fatherhood means today. Its demands are very different then what their own father's were expected to do. Men who think that raising children is the wife's prime responsibility are just not living in the modern world. With today’s dual incomes, it is very hard on the marriage if the father is not prepared to be hands on with the housework and the child rearing.
My husband really believed he wanted a family, but he realized too late that toddlers and young school-age children take a level of commitment and personal and professional sacrifice that he had not imagined. He felt extremely guilty leaving us, but he was miserable and stressed out despite our marriage counselling. It seems that his own father had not provided him with a model of what was expected of him in today’s working parent reality. I don’t think he was prepared for it and I know he really struggled to make it work. He now struggles with his feelings of failure and guilt towards his children.
We are committed to joint custody, and making the best of it, but believe me, if the marriage doesn't work both parents will be shouldering the increased burden on the home front. Women cannot fill the hole of an absentee father no matter how educated, rich and milf-y we modern divorcees are expected to be.
Take note Divorced Dads: your kids are watching you and are asking themselves questions about what exactly was your commitment to them. Your parenting obligation to your children has not decreased in proportion to your child support payments. In fact it will take even more commitment from both parents, which is difficult considering you just divorced each other. Clearly it is much smarter to rethink whether you really want children than trying to co-parent your children after a divorce.
All women must consider the question of children long before they get married because statistically, becoming a single-mother is a very real possibility. The article quotes couples who correctly say that having children is a detriment to their financial security and career advancement. Now try to imagine doing it as a single parent.