I would be very pleased if I were to win a Swag Package.

The thing is, I'm a superhero.

I know it's probably shocking and hard to believe, but I feel now is as good a time as any to share it with the world. As ludicrous as it may sound, I do indeed fight crime with extraordinary powers. However, as a hero, I don't have very much swag. In fact, it's like having negative swag. I always have to keep my identity secret so I can't just go looking for swag, or people might get suspicious of my true persona.

If I were to receive a Swag Package, however, I would have some new tools for crime fighting. I would call them Superhero Swag! It would be the only swag I have as a hero. And I'm not trying to bribe you or anything, but the next time you are being mugged or harassed by thugs, just remember that a certain hero will always step in to protect you.

With Superhero Swag in tow, I would have new powers, amazing powers to stop evil-doers in the gaming community! The next time I saw a 14 year old asking about Modern Warfare 2, I could release the kraken on his underage fanny and turn him into a respectable teenager, one who would go in and talk about how much he enjoyed Metro 2033. He would ask in anticipation about great titles like Red Dead Redemption and Alan Wake, and never again would we have foul criminals poisoning the world of video games!

...but this world will only be a reality with your Swag Package.

Toodles!