As the last few comments have mentioned, all the quotes were incorrectly attributed from here:
http://www.afterellen.com/people/2009/5/celebs-tw...

To the author: As a 'writer', one would hope that you know how to proofread and verify source content before you publish. By not doing these things, one can only conclude that you are as sloppy as the tweeters against whom you are raging. Perhaps you would have done better with a 140 character limit and a bit.ly link to your source.