I understand what you're saying, but if we focus too much on what went wrong, then there is a very real chance of missing what is happening now! Good on you Staline for getting ready to go again! Your son is gorgeous.

I'm with you there. It has been a learning process for both of us. With our first, we both had what you might call 'sketchy' periods. I was deep in baby blues but not recognising it, he was dealing with a really dodgey upbringing that made it ok to call a 3 week old 'evil'. We talked, we ranted, we submitted, we agreed. He had unbridled love despite what he was saying, I had insurmountable feelings even though I saw devil eyes. We have worked through everything and he is now without doubt the most amazing father I have ever come across. He will get home from an 18 hour day and take the kids to the park. He will spend his only day off in the week taking all the kids to the park/beach. He gives all the kids affection in words and actions. No matter what is happening and with whom, he will stall it if any of the kids need his attention, even if it's just to show the same trick he has seen twelve times before, or to ask him to pour a water.
Life rocks. We all change. We all grow together with our children. Don't count someone out because they don't act right at first. It's a huge adjustment, and given a bit of time, we get there.

Hahaha, hormones in overdrive!!
Thing is, your experience is your experience and whatever it was, you had a result. I have had four wonderful births (and pregnancies, though I rate them lower simply because I didn't enjoy them as much). All my prev kids have been to see the next one born. Except for the last. Different hospital, different rules. Kids not allowed to experience the miracle, which in turn meant a frantic runaround for my old boy to find someone to watch them when we discovered this rule as I was about to drop. Me being the quick producer that I am, it meant that no one was with me. Result: a beautiful baby. Dad and siblings able to see her just afterwards. Special bond with me and my youngest doing it by ourselves.
Not what was planned, but who cares. Gorgeous family. Huge appreciation for new life by all. Screw what happened prior.

Hahaha, my kids know all the right names for things, but it has been a process. Our first child knew them as parts. This was mostly to separate them from the bum. Our second was a boy, so penis was introduced. With our third, came the names vagina and vulva. My hubby still cringes when he hears the word vulva, to the point that he has said he would prefer the girls call it their vagina even though it's wrong and still makes him squeamish. Just less squeamish than vulva. I find it hilarious, and watching some of our friends get all curly is fantastic fun. Fact is though, the name of a part is the name. Nothing we can do to change it. With breasts, I'm not so fussed. Most of the names used for them are fairly commonplace. I do still laugh my arse off when all four of my kids call my bra's booby patches. Love it so much. Not something I'm going to correct them on too soon, because it provides ample entertainment.