Talking snakes, stopping time, flat earth, resurrected dead ... nothing but logical truths.

Speaking of 2012 ... In other news, NdT was on Daily Show with Jon Stewart last night.

Damn, he's great.

This made me laugh. Thanks, Julie.

I just had a thought. Are there any indications that any boats looked like the one that Noah purportedly built?

I mean, why is the iconic image of Noah's ark the one we use?Is it like any other marine vessel we know of? Are there any photographs? Honk.

Is it like the image of Jesus? It became iconic, but it has nothing to do with what Jesus or anyone living in that area at that time looked like.

I have this one in blue, too. I have the devil burying bones and the periodic table with five elements on it.

Although lately since I've been reading that goddamn creationist book as part of that fucking challenge I agreed to, the periodic table is something creationists would use to show how scientists were wrong at one time.

The stupid, it burns.

What gets me is the repeated argument from Christians that Jesus transforms lives. How come I never get to meet the people who have been transformed for the good of humanity?

Dante also gave those fuckers their perception of hell, which really isn't found in the bible. He and Milton -- throw in a dash of hieronymus bosch -- influenced Christianity's afterlife more than the bible itself.

I could use a followup to this tweet.

I could care less about anything except the "butt licking" and how that pertains to biblical study.

Please.

You know how Jesus has that irrepressible morning wood.

Do you think that when Mary was giving birth to Jesus, he healed any vaginal tearing he caused as he was exiting the canal or did he let her suffer a little, and when she finally said, "Please, Jesus, heal your mommy," he reached his little glowing finger to her crotch and "poof" healed her back up? Maybe even threw in a new hymen while he was working on it.

I heard him speak and he said, "Bogiddy bogiddy bogiddy boo!"

The other time I heard him, he was groaning and dragging an arm. He looked like he just got his makeup done to star in the "Thriller" video.

I saw it, heathens, so you can't deny it.