IntenseDebate - TheLioness

16 years ago @ Pass Me a Shovel - The Audacity of Bastards · 0 replies · +1 points

He's generally not too sensitive. We dated for about 3 years and remained friends for years after that, so we do all the usual- we go out to eat, shop together, movies, cook together, hell, I usually make him wash my hair because he's really good at it. I wouldn't consider it dating because we've known each other for so long that it's almost just second nature? And yeah, we know each other's families. I talk to his mom. My mom used to braid his hair when he was growing it out. So, there's a lot of history between us.

But a few weeks before this went down, we were talking about my dating life and I was telling him what I was looking for (which didn't describe him at all) and he was like "well, I feel like I could be that kind of person" and I kind of ignored it. I figured he was baiting me. My friends say he was hinting. I say that's bs.

16 years ago @ Pass Me a Shovel - The Audacity of Bastards · 0 replies · +1 points

Ms. SFS! Welcome Back! That may be the best way to get his attention but right now, I don't even want it. If he can let our friendship go like that, then yeah I'm a little upset, but to hell with him.

16 years ago @ Pass Me a Shovel - The Audacity of Bastards · 0 replies · +1 points

I agree- I think that his ego may be a little bruised. I just hate that he can't get over it enough to remain friends. Especially when I've gotten over so much stuff he's said/done and kept the friendship going.

16 years ago @ Pass Me a Shovel - What about your Friends? · 0 replies · +1 points

Let the record show that The Lioness was not the friend in question in ANY of these scenarios. LOL!

16 years ago @ Pass Me a Shovel - Passion vs. Security · 0 replies · +1 points

Welcome Labellabutterfly!!!

No you can't have both- lol! But a question just came to me. What does security mean to you? Because couldn't passion be its own security? Like, if you still feel that same smoldering heat with that person ten years down the road- isn't that an indication of that person's desire and love for you. Wouldn't knowing that that person stills feels that deeply for you emotionally be its own form of security?

16 years ago @ Pass Me a Shovel - Passion vs. Security · 0 replies · +1 points

I agree GI. I think that if you aren't getting the warm fuzzies after a year into your relationship then maybe it's time to move on. I don't believe that every man that gives you those tingles is the right man for you. Just that the ones who don't are the wrong men.

16 years ago @ Pass Me a Shovel - Passion vs. Security · 0 replies · +1 points

Never saw BoMC so I may need to check that out. I definitely see the benefits of having a stable relationship. However, -in my mind, passion isn't just pleasing each other sexually but just a vibe you have around each other- being able to read each other's thoughts, holding conversations without words. If being able to sit around with a person we can talk to is all that we ever strove for, then wouldn't we all be married right now????

16 years ago @ Pass Me a Shovel - Passion vs. Security · 0 replies · +1 points

Go Ms. Dee! I'm on Team Jacob-- I mean Team Pink too!

16 years ago @ Pass Me a Shovel - Pre-Nups: A Gold Digge... · 0 replies · +1 points

I think it was more about his stupidity rather than her skill. *sigh at another hoodwinked black man.

I definitely think we should go into marriage with a long term view. However, I believe that a man's responsibility to provide for you ends when the marriage does. Marriage is not supposed to be like work- alimony is not your unemployment check. I wouldn't ask for it but hell if they put one in the mail for me..... let's just say my momma ain't raise no fool- lol

16 years ago @ Pass Me a Shovel - Pre-Nups: A Gold Digge... · 1 reply · +1 points

I agree with you Ms. Nikks. But Ms. Dee brought up a good point. How does that get divided if there are children involved and the custodial parent is the one at the disadvantage? I'm still sorting through that one. What are your thoughts?

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