Thanks, Martha. :)

Thanks, Stacey. :)

Peggy!!! So good to hear from you! Yes, I use that "don't even have it in the house" trick for my weaknesses, too. Thanks for the confirmation of my hard-headedness...LOL...and for the support.

Handily, Second Son bought a weight bench and a set of weights a couple months ago and they're out on the back deck...at first mocking me...but now, calling my name. :) All those years of taking him to football practice and games will finally pay off - he doesn't know it yet, but he's gonna be my personal trainer. LOL

Nancy,

Healing is exactly what prompted my decision, ironically enough. For almost a year now, there's been significant healing occurring in another arena of my life - so much so that all kinds of possibilities are opening up now. Not wanting to "play it safe" (because there's no way to do that, in the end) any longer, I had to say no to this and create the space for what I really want to grow...if it's going to.

You're absolutely right when you say everything changes - and sometimes it's the good changes that scare us most. When you've wanted something for so long, and not gotten it - and I'm talking YEARS here - it's terrifying to see it begin to manifest in front of your face.

I'm diligently working on #2 - and taking your right-on-the-money advice to create quiet space in my life for me to just BE and let the truth in my heart show itself. Knowing what I want - without the distraction or distortion of my head and it's proclivity to worry about what other people think - is getting easier - thank goodness. Intuitively, I know that my fear is coming from my head, too, so getting quiet and focusing on what's in my heart both calms me and gives me the strength to be with the vacuum I've created on purpose and not hide in some other way (like through work, etc.)

Right now, I feel blessed to see the little miracles that are occurring in my life, blessed that I've grown in awareness and consciousness enough to recognize them and let them be what they are without blowing them up into something more than they are. In short, I'm beginning to learn what it really means when we say, "It's all good."

It really is, even when it doesn't feel that way. :)

Christa, if I wanted to be funny (which I usually do) I would say that you make me blush long time, too. But you know what? That's total crap. I'm not embarrassed to have anyone read what you said about me because you're right - I do love you no matter what, and I do the very best I can with everything, despite how it looks looking on. And my face is kissing yours right back over those 2000 miles. :)

Sometimes I think this "realness" I'm purposefully cultivating is sheer laziness on my part - it takes too f'ing much energy to keep up pretenses otherwise. But like I said to Nancy - when we live awake and aware - it's work of a different sort, but work, nonetheless. So no, I'm not lazy. I'm just determined to put my energies where they'll do me, someone else, and the world some good. Being our real selves, showing up regardless is the best way I know to do that. And you do it, too. Takes one to know one, remember. :)

Right back at ya, girl. Chopsticks...hehe... Love you.

It does give one pause, doesn't it, Christa! It was a COMPLETE shock to me because I thought I'd vetted this one pretty good: works at American Airlines as a mechanic, was fighter pilot in the Army, worked with the Governor of OK several Governors back. This guy's been to State Department soirees for God's sake. But no - fire up the grill for me and he thinks he's James Bond or something.

And...go check my FB... LOL

Fred - thank goodness that's not my "norm" when it comes to dating. But that one takes the prize for 2011, for sure!

Apt description: Clueless Tool. Love it. And yes, the "twist them off" comment came out so fast I had no time to filter. LOL I wasn't sorry, though...not in the least.

Ahhh, Mia. I'm just full of good stories. LOL I've often said if I were to write my autobiography, it would be categorized as fantasy/horror, because surely not all of it actually happened to the same girl!