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Hey Shaun, It's been awhile, man. Feel free to share this on your blog. I appreciate it. Looking forward to hearing from you regarding future opportunities - firstname.lastname@example.org.
If you don't find a way to get over him, you will be hurt and left even more confused than you currently are. Married men with children rarely leave their families, especially if the wife doesn't know, and even when she is well aware. Look at your own situation... how hard would it be for you to leave your husband and children? I would suggest seeing a therapist or counselor on the side if your feelings for him are that strong. With a 2 year old and a baby on the way there's no way you can or will be a priority. You could work on fixing your own marriage, or making the tough decision as you sort through the emotional drama.
There is absolutely no hope for this relationship. You should end it as soon as you\'re realistically able to. She won\'t leave her husband for you or for anyone else. If she does, it\'ll be for herself. If I were you I would not stick around.
You feel resentment toward your husband because you're still focused on your feelings, on your needs, on your drug - him. You were cheating on your husband, he should not be expected to act rationally in this situation. Although most would say you don't owe your affair partner anything, let alone an explanation, if you feel strongly about the communication your husband sent you should contact him and explain what occurred. But be ready for the consequences if your husband finds out. It sounds like you're not over the affair yet. One thing I learned is that with affairs, there are no rules. None. You want closure? Good luck, not many get it when these types of relationships end. You're lucky if you do. At this stage, you need to focus on being honest with yourself about what you want out of the relationship you're currently in. Why do you stay? Do you still love your husband? What are your afraid of? Start working on finding out the root of your problems, the ones that caused you to seek out another man in the first place. Your healing won't begin until you take those steps. You stated that you can't move on without letting him know it wasn't you who sent the message. Once he finds out it was from your husband, and not you, that's even greater cause for him to understand the impact of the affair. Once your husband or wife finds out about the affair, the honeymoon (the one you've been having with your affair partner) is over.
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Your comments are so refreshing with the differing viewpoints, providing a much clearer perspective from both sides. Thank you both for shedding some light into this dating game maze we purposely thrust ourselves into from time to time. Although it's kind of hard out here for us sweet studs and centered femmes, the notion that there's someone for everyone loves strong within me. I'm a hopeless romantic when it comes to love, and I'm ok with that. Stephanie, regarding your final thought... nuff said is right!
Lysee, I understand that you are torn by the affair you're having and the pain you are feeling from the current separation between you and your lover. It is so thick I can feel it in your writing. The connection you feel to your lover may seem to be an unbearable thing to break now or in the future, but if you truly want to save your sanity and your marriage you'll do the hardest thing you think you'll ever have to do. It will break your heart, or at least feel like that's what's happening but what you're really doing is breaking the pattern of reliance upon your lover that you established however long ago to fill the void that was sorely missing from your marriage. This person meets a major need for you, perhaps many, and the addiction to what they give you can only be severed cold turkey. That's the beauty and pain of affairs. They are entirely unpredictable and there is always pain to be met at the ending of one. There is no escape. We don't want to bring ourselves pain so like a drug addict we'd rather continue taking the drugs we know are bad for us, that destroy our soul, and who we are as a person, instead of accepting the pain of what's to come, because out of that pain will come redemption and healing for yourself. You need this. There is no other way. If you want to save your marriage, resign yourself to doing the right thing. You may need to build yourself up to it, or you may need to reach absolute bottom like so many affair partners. You will likely also be saving this young man who at 25 years old still has a lot to learn about what it means to be a man and to please a woman. I wish the absolute best to you... and your family.