SaltyDroid

SaltyDroid

59p

197 comments posted · 5 followers · following 11

264 weeks ago @ The Salty Droid - The DMCA and the Damned · 2 replies · +1 points

Kilstein's latest tweet ... PR gold? :: "Getting emails addressed Dear Nigger leads me to wonder what people are thinking. Are they?"

I agree ... some people have stopped thinking.

http://twitter.com/drkilstein/status/4726613991

264 weeks ago @ The Salty Droid - The DMCA and the Damned · 2 replies · +1 points

That comment was genius friend ... well worth the effort of saving it!

Christian Blowjobs ... OMG!

264 weeks ago @ The Salty Droid - The DMCA and the Damned · 0 replies · +1 points

Comment was too long ... or something. I sliced it into two pieces and reposted it below

Everyone stay calm ... not a real comment deletion.

264 weeks ago @ The Salty Droid - The DMCA and the Damned · 3 replies · +1 points

{continued saving of Googler}

http://tinyurl.com/ygcqtk8

"If you are looking for Clickbank products to promote with a high conversion rate, prepare to be amazed. You've just discovered the mother lode of products AND the good news is, you are among the first.

"That's right. This site only went live in September 2004 so the market is completely fresh."

And then the December 9, 2004 page:

http://tinyurl.com/yhxuhc3

"If you are looking for Clickbank products to promote with a high conversion rate, prepare to be amazed. You've just discovered the mother lode of products AND the good news is, you are among the first.

"That's right.

"This site only went live in December 2004 so the market is completely fresh."

Huh? (Rubs eyes) This must be one of those "Time Distortions in Hypnosis", which just happens to be one e-book title he's selling.

Finally by February of 2005, Kilstein masters the ability to add titles and pictures, so we can finally see the title of his "best selling" blowjob book--"Mind Blowing Blow Jobs" is the title by someone named Gracie Marks. The usual lame tennis and golf mental books, a couple of Milton Erickson ripoffs--I assume they're in public domain; one of them is the Time Distortion book--and a book called "In Search of the Elusive Orgasm--The Heart of Female Sexuality". The professionally-copywritten OMGIMUSTBUYTHISBOOK tag tells us, "A huge percentage of the female population can not achieve orgasm. This book makes it possible."

(Ummm, how--by rubbing the woman with the book?)

Oh, hey! If you Google the author--one Jaclyn Devaux--you can find a very funny sell page!

http://tinyurl.com/yfqtl8c

They've renamed the book "The Heart of Christian Womanhood: In Search of the Elusive Orgasm" and about halfway down the page we are told--in strictest confidence, of course:

"You cannot buy this digital book "The Heart of Christian Womanhood: In Search of the Elusive Orgasm" in a bookstore. I wouldn't dream of causing you embarrassment of having you look through this book in a bookstore or even worse - having you take it up to the check out counter and have someone look at the book - and at you - and make a snide remark."

Oh, hey, guess what again! The domain name is better-sex-institute.com, and if you go to the root it redirects you to our old friend, "The Heart of Female Sexuality". Same spiel, they just take the random word "Christian" out of it.

Now I simply HAVE to look at this domain through Google:

http://tinyurl.com/ykby5wa

Oh, now this is too funny! "Blowjobs for Christian Women"! But these pages and the Wayback Machine will have to wait for another day... but here ya go if someone else wants to look:

http://tinyurl.com/yll88nu

(Okay, so I clicked on one of the first ones and then Googled "Helen Marie Lineham", billed as "Canada's Favorite Sexologist". But that's it. I promise.)

Clearly Kilstein is a man with a dream. A dream somehow involving blowjobs, which are somehow Christian in nature. I suppose Harlan must look to Christians for his blowjobs, since as I understand it, orthodox Jews aren't supposed to put pork in their mouths. But let's continue our stroll down OTC's memory lane by clicking on April, 2005. Why, lookie here:

http://tinyurl.com/yf4827b

"If you are looking for Clickbank products to promote with a high conversion rate, prepare to be amazed. You've just discovered the mother lode of products AND the good news is, you are among the first.

"That's right.

"This site only went live in April 2005 so the market is completely fresh."

Oh, my. Now I simply HAVE to click through the rest of the pages, don't I?

Wouldn't you know, he keeps the not-so-fresh April 2005 date up until November of 2006, and that's when he starts using the way-ugly and way-useless main page you see today. Thus ends 2006 on a not-so positive note, and the site wasn't updated all that substantially until the affiliate page changed to its current incarnation, WITHOUT the lame pictures of the "books" nor the titles, just tantalizing NLP-ish things like "This book is a teaching book. It's not porn."

Wow! Where do I sign up?

Google Advanced Search and the Wayback Machine at archive.org. Hours of fun! If you like stamping through a pig sty, that is....

264 weeks ago @ The Salty Droid - The DMCA and the Damned · 0 replies · +1 points

{trying to save Googler's comment from purgatory}

I found Kilstein's OTC Publishing--

http://www.otc-publishing.com/

Hmmm, only one stupid, useless page giving a name and address. Let's go to Google and see if there's any pages hidden behind it, shall we?

http://tinyurl.com/yk47wjt

Google indicates there are only two pages on the entire site--the ugly banner index page that doesn't tell you a damned thing, and an affiliate sign-up page, which doesn't seem to have any links to it. The affiliate page only gives us a HINT at what exciting things OTC has to offer:

http://tinyurl.com/yfh3h3o

"Tell People About These Amazing eBooks and . . . We'll PAY YOU HALF OF EVERY SALE

Our books hit targeted niches - hard!

* If you're not too squeemish, we have a book teaching women to give great oral sex. This book has a huge conversion rate and almost no returns. This book is a teaching book. It's not porn.

* We have a huge selling book teaching women (and their lovers) how to have massive orgasms."

(I think my favorite copywriting of ALL TIME must now be "This book is a teaching book. It's not porn." Yes! SELL that product, Harlan! Masterfully done! I be hyp-mo-tized from here! Especially because of the "squeemish" part--doesn't your spellchecker work? Or is that just part of the MASTERY?)

So I decided to check the Wayback Machine to see the history of this site.

http://tinyurl.com/yjdvaoe

Snore. They're just all variations of the same lame affiliate page. But watch! Here's the September 11, 2004 page:

264 weeks ago @ The Salty Droid - The DMCA and the Damned · 0 replies · +1 points

crap salad overload

264 weeks ago @ The Salty Droid - The DMCA and the Damned · 0 replies · +1 points

"and urge you in the strongest possible {short of defecating outside of your office door ... which let's face it ... i'm also contemplating ... often ... nightly ... right now} terms to reconsider its implementation in light of these problems, Respectfully {in the way where i respect you ... but i'd consider eating your liver}, Harlan Kilstein Florida, US

264 weeks ago @ The Salty Droid - A Farewell to Evil Jowls · 1 reply · +1 points

that is so funny to me for so many reasons {35% beer ... let's be honest!}.  i love you guys!

264 weeks ago @ The Salty Droid - A Farewell to Evil Jowls · 5 replies · +1 points

the pain of listening to a d-bag-on-a-loop ... must be experienced for proper appreciation.  i'll be having flashbacks of harlan verbally dreaming about kern and moffatt into my late 70's. 

{sequel} "kern, moffatt, eat you heart out"

... please jesus, make it stop! make it stop!

264 weeks ago @ The Salty Droid - Sidewiki SaltyDroid - ... · 0 replies · +1 points

It's true :: It's true. I'm such a slow learner :: But don't you wish there was something to believe in? Alas!