I will pray.

Thanks, Gina for your comment. I am grateful for your tremendous insight and willingness to share. That is not easy. Thanks for letting me know how things are going too. I generally don't following com box discussions as it is too easy for some people to say unkind things.

To be honest, I was not too unlike your husband at one point. That fear is part of the reason for being selfish. In the end, all failures to do what are right are fear. You are right that the fear of finances and inadequacy is one that all men face. I am not sure if someone who is being selfish typically experiences it as such. But it is still selfish to say that I will not be open to life as God intended and asks of married people because I am unwilling to risk not being able to provide. As a man, if a friend or brother of mine were in the situation you describe (and some are), I would tell them they are being selfish and to trust God. Of course, many don't want to listen.

Again, thanks for your sharing your original post and your reply. It is only when such things are brought forward can we start to change ourselves and our culture.

Lionel, i have deleted the 9 continuations of this comment. You need to get your own blog if you want to rant - the comment section here is not the place for it.

Insightful stuff.
The diagnosis, as you point out in the podcast, is clear. One thing on the issue of being who we are called to be. I think that with structural issues, it can be much more difficult to be what we are called to be. Man is weak. We are not typically possessing of heroic virtue. Via the sexual revolution and related cultural changes, we have removed all of the supports that helped everyday men do what was right.

I think that the personal tools provided by the Church are essential, especially for those who are stronger in virtue, but as was said, these are underutilized - why? Even in the Church, we have removed those structures that helped us to respond to our call - especially for men. So what is to be done?

Beyond taking advantage of the Sacraments, I think the answer then is in identifying and creating appropriate local communities and growing from there. I think that is the step to go to next. This may be through "men's groups" and in finding families who can reinforce one another.

Great stuff. Thanks for the interview!!!!

Nick, try it now -I believe I fixed it.

Good stuff! Maybe more will follow suit.

Awesome post! I can echo very much what you say in experiencing prayer.
I was recently talking with my wife how disturbing it is when fellow Catholics often refer to the rich deposit of prayer as "rote" prayers disparagingly. It is in that quiet journey through desserts and even storms that we come to hear God. The parallel to "I love you" is very good as well.

Thanks for the timely insights!

That said, I have seen people make challenges and had Catholics (including clergy) let it go. I resolved that I would rather offend than remain silent. I try to act with charity, but sometimes charity, well, it stings. It can be like putting an astringent on a wound.

I hear you Michelle. My thoughts on NFP aren't about what women should and shouldn't do (though the new expectation in our society is to not stay at home and not breastfeed and not have children - not sure I want to defend those "shoulds"). Rather I start with a look at what is wrong with us as a people.

We are controllers and planners extraordinaire - as a people, I mean. To a greater or lesser degree, we all want things to go according to plan - especially if finances are involved. And let's face it, when it comes to planning parenthood, money is typically the big issue. I think that NFP is basically planned parenthood (maybe discerned parenthood is more comfortable though). I am not sure that for most of us it is a good thing for our souls or our society to have to always be in control. We all need to be more comfortable with letting go of control, even of the big things.

I am with Patrick, and I don't think it is cruel myself - we tried this with some success when little ones would not stay in bed when we moved them out of cribs.

You could also tie There are time outs and other incentives/punishments that can be tied to the situation.