I agree with some the the things Jennifer has stated. Your ideas on the author's goals were very good. You did a great job at explaining what you thought each of their ideas were, and you also gave some good evidence to back it up. Your opener was a little weak to me, it did not really catch my eye, try to get the reader to wonder whats coming next so that they are forced to read the rest to find out. basically lead with something to get me wanting to read more introducing the book from Said did not do this. other than that I think you have a good paper going.

Vince,

Overall I really enjoyed your paper. you brought up a lot of good points that I didn't realize. i feel the body of your paper is excellent, the thoughts you brought up and the quotes you used made it feel like you really grasped the assignment. The only area I think you need to work on is the introduction and your conclusion. With the introduction it kinda felt like you just jumped right into the paper, and the opening statement felt like it could do a better job of keeping me interested. The conclusion I thought was great as far as describing which story you found more compelling, but I feel it was lacking a decisive summery of your overall thoughts.

Great job using events of today in your introduction to explain how easily photographs are taken these days, it made me just stop for a second and connect with the paper. the body of your paper was great, I enjoyed your uses of photographs. As I was reading the part about remembering the photograph or stories and I stopped and thought man hes right I don't remember much of the stories without first identifying the photographs.

Over all I think you did a great job with showing where you are at with this essay. The only thing I think would make this a stronger essay would be to answer, "What does each say about photography? What do they say about the dangers and powers in photographic images and our uses of them? What do they show or enact in their writing about these images?" you did a great job with your understanding of their writings and also using photographs of today to back it up and if you add a little background from your previous papers on Agee and Hirsch to answer these questions in the assignment it will be perfect.

Overall I really enjoyed your paper, one of the things I enjoyed most was the personal touch with adding your father and aunts. I looked at your paper as if I wasn't in the class. You bring up some good points on their point of view, but could you elaborate on some evidence. Maybe use a couple quotes that describe their point of view. With your paragraph on their connections and how we could use them in photographs today Agee was missing, Since I've read the story I see how your story is connecting to how Agee uses photographs with out captions but for others who have never read either story they won't so easily pick up on that point.

Vince,

Right from the start of your paper I was hooked, your quote “Seeing as how no individual is exactly alike, each person perceives each picture or text a little differently.” It was what hooked me; this sentence hooked me because it also pertains to our class. We really need to embrace and discuss our different interpretations.

A little later in your story you brought up another interesting quote about Evans “Even though both men experienced the same things, they may have had different ideas on what was important to portray.” We don’t know much about Evans but we do know that all of us interpret things differently. Which made me think that what if Evans and Agee are interpreting things slightly differently. You describe that Agee is using his descriptions to show the emotional points of the story. This solidifies my thought that they are using both in perfect harmony but also in and of their own right. They have their differences, they are showing the same story but in their own way.

I like the opinion at the end of who Emma was, it made me go back and look just to fulfill the curiosity your conclusion gave me. I hope we can discuss more of your opinions and also some of the ones I brought up in my comments.

I agree with you fully that reviewing essays is hard to do when you don't have confidence on your own writing. But my belief is that we are not here to criticize each others work, more that we are here to discuss each others work. Such as things in our papers that we agree with, things that opened new doors of thinking on the story, and also the differences in our interpretations that you mention in your paper.

As you said you found that my paper had a better personal feeling, and also that I explained the text and my feelings better in this essay. Explain to me where and when was it more personal, and maybe what ideas I brought up that you liked or how my interpretation brought some new thinking on the story for you. I hope this will help your commenting process go by easier. Please comment back and lets discuss this, I'm currently working on reading and commenting on your paper so I hope we can have a helpful discussion :).

Matt,
As many others have said your title is a perfect match. The link between the missing pieces and our conclusions is a great idea. I fully agree with you, I believe that the way the photographs were laid out along with the descriptive text was just another way for us the reader to get involved with the story to bring it close to home. he uses these techniques like you have explained to "fill in the missing pieces of the puzzle".

Your summery of the story was very straight and to the point. I felt that you left just enough to truly explain the story but also left out things that would confuse the reader of our writings. I also agree that the story did not get interesting until he brought Emma into the picture. I like how you added the feelings of Agee, his feelings are the same as the family despair. I myself brought out the topic of the family in general. How Agee describes how they have nothing, but continuously goes on about the family. It gives me the feeling that all though they have nothing, the family is severely important. Which is what drives the story of Emma to me, the fact that she is being pulled away from her "kin" and all she knows is what made me thing of the "despair" the family and Agee feels.

The conclusion was left in my mind with the statement on the persistence of Agee to get this book published. I over looked the time it took to get published and also his determination to get it published. I enjoyed your piece and I hope we can discuss some more of your ideas and also the ones I have brought up in my comment.

well this one is more of my opinion, at least i hope :P. and i also tried to work more on the introductions and conclusion.

I really enjoyed your opinions on the topic. Most of all I your use of personal memories, and also memories from other events. I like how the use these two memories really solidify the topic in your introduction. Your paper made me dwell on your opinion more than Hirsch's. on the flip side I feel that if I did not read Hirsch's paper I would probably be asking myself what did Hirsch write about? (which I feel is more due to the explanation being at the beginning and me being hit so hard with your opinion at the end, which was awesome.) After reading comments on my paper and reading your paper I feel I'm starting to grasp the assignment better. Its good seeing the strengths in writing others have that I'm weaker in.