I completely understand... It's easy to generalize when there isn't much info given. I was purposely vague as the meat of the article was *supposed* to be the 'tips' part - I only provided a background to give my tips some sort of valid context. However I was quick to find that my vagueness invited a lot of knee-jerk judgement which completely negated the rest of the article. Eh...Live and learn.
Regardless, thank you for your reply. I am sorry for your experience, Mark. I wish you and your children the very best... and lots of joy along your new path.
You seem to think you know quite a bit about a situation that you really know nothing about. Your assumptions about my ex and what he is doing are incorrect - I won't talk poorly about anyone, regardless of what they do or don't do. And you also know nothing about what and how I am teaching my children. I'm teaching them that you can 'try' for years at a dead-end relationship, while beating your head against a wall repeatedly - but at some point, they need to know when they are wasting their lives away, unhappy. I would never wish that for them in a million years. My children are raised with nothing but the purest love from everyone in their lives. Best wishes to you, Mark!
A brazen show of compassion-less judgement of someone's life, of which you know very little about... maybe a projection of your own issues? I'm not at all sure how you would jump to the conclusion that my children were happy. Seeing their parents live unhappily like roommates clearly is not the way to teach a child how to love another people. I'm also teaching my children that they can pick themselves up after they make mistakes - not become stagnant and bitter in depression in a life they hate. My children are so much happier now - and thank me almost daily, as they are and will always be my primary focus, and they know it well. As for who I am dating - we couldn't be happier 2 years later with a beautiful daughter who is adored by their 3 older brothers! Thank you for your well wishes.
I take the time to write this only to show you that your judgement and projections are a sad box in which you seem to be stuck - Jaded and angry. None of your assessments were correct in any way so all I can deduce is that you locked in a very closed mind-frame with no happy endings. I'm sorry for you. I have learned to transcend past caring about the opinions & delusions of others. I just hope that you are living your most joyful existence because it does effect & reflect onto those you love & who love you. Wishing you all the best.
Thank you so much for your kind words, Dot.
The article wasn't about my ex & his personality (& if he was a nice guy or not), nor the specifics of the divorce itself. It was about sharing what I learned from MY experience (about which is the only perspective that I feel qualified to write). But to appease your concern, from my limited knowledge about his current personal life (& since we were a mis-match), he is now dating someone who appears to fit him better. As with anyone, I wish him the absolute best along his path.
Thank you for sharing that with me, Jen. Life is way too short to be miserable... & you are never 'stuck'. I think when you start looking fear straight on, & begin seeing as a tool & not a impediment, life starts to change. A sense of empowerment begins to arise that can't be quieted. Sending you love & strength, lady. You'll do beautifully - I have complete faith in you.
Thank you for sharing that, Elien. I'm so pleased that my article reminded you of that time of empowerment. For what it's worth... I'm proud of you. Be well.
It's been the most challenging year of my life but also the time of the most personal growth. Like you said, the silver lining is the amazing lessons the boys & I have learning through it all - The strength & exercises in non-attachment, understanding, and compassion. I've also written a post on it all for EJ that I'll hopefully get up soon. Stay strong, my friend. Life is one crazy, wild, beautiful ride, huh!
Ben - I'm so sorry for your pain this past year. It's been a while since we've talked. I too went through a very similar year, having divorced my husband of 10 years & working though the pain of being separated from my 3 little boys when they're with their dad. This article made me cry tears of understanding & empathy. Thank you so much for sharing, Ben. Sending loving energy your way.