"There are no black people in Iowa"...???!!! Sounds pretty racially insensitive to me!

No you can't imagine them, because they never existed. They are merely an oral history passed down from generations and their writings were the quaint but inaccurate transcriptions of that history by noble but imperfect men. Therefore it is incumbent on us to divine the True Meaning of their words. Modern scholarship has determined that Thomas Jefferson was actually a loose collection of Virginia philosophers who argued over ale in local pubs, and scribbled dirty words on outhouse walls. These words have been variously reinterpreted and spun into the purported Writings of the Founding Father's. Truth is, they were never interested in personal freedoms and responsibility, they were for social justice, and we can't truly understand the meaning of their words unless we view them through the social justice prism. (excerpted from my forthcoming book , "Are You Smarter Than The Founding Father's - Then You Just Might Be A Liberal!")

Don't give them any ideas! That's all we need, "The Gnostic Constitution."

ROFLMAO!!!!

Even better!!!! Guess I'll be staying up late then!

(You sir, have made my day!)

I've never heard of NASCAR hooligans, unless you count Kyle Busch and Carl Edwards. I've never heard of NASCAR riots or a NASCAR war. And in NASCAR, you get to use your hands AND your feet, AND the nose of your car!!!

Oh man! I wished I would have known that during the Olympics! I would have been rooting for the Danish and Canadian Women's Teams to go into double overtime!!!!