IntenseDebate - Dancing

8 years ago @ Paging Dr. NerdLove - Geek Behaviors That Dr... · 1 reply · +7 points

None of that was mean at all. Probably the kindest anyone here has been to me in some time. Those are fair and honest criticisms.

8 years ago @ Paging Dr. NerdLove - Geek Behaviors That Dr... · 5 replies · -15 points

I'm not specifically talking about myself. I've caught shit for making threads about myself. Now I'm getting it for trying to be general. Is there anything I could say that wouldn't result in aspersions against my good faith?

8 years ago @ Paging Dr. NerdLove - Geek Behaviors That Dr... · 3 replies · -17 points

Exerting effort to be more likable is manipulation?

I don't know why you'd think I think I'll of my friends. They're pretty awesome. I love them and their well-being impacts my own. I am just less interested in the mundane details of their lives than the practical details of our chosen activity. But people like that stuff so I try, because it makes them happy. Is that really manipulation?

8 years ago @ Paging Dr. NerdLove - Geek Behaviors That Dr... · 10 replies · -39 points

That's demonstrably false. We've covered that here before. Women don't want men who just want anyone. So lowering standards is not a real option. Men try it and it doesn't work.

In contrast, many (but not all men) would just be happy to be the guy who got picked.

8 years ago @ Paging Dr. NerdLove - Geek Behaviors That Dr... · 30 replies · -30 points

Not at all. There are genuinely kind and feminist men out there who have no luck in love. I know several.

Nor do I mean that "nice woman" means "maid and concubine". I'm talking about people who want partners.

It is not the case that every man who has trouble with women is a sexist abusing piece of shit. It's not that simple.

8 years ago @ Paging Dr. NerdLove - Geek Behaviors That Dr... · 35 replies · -32 points

There are probably a handful, sure. There are definitely thousands of men. Why the difference? Even as you complain, you say you've had dates accepted. That puts you ahead of a lot of guys.

I don't mean to say that your standards are too high. There are good reasons a woman wouldnt get involved with just anyone. But many of these guys have lowered theirs and still have no luck.

I don't know how to square these observations with the assertion that men and women have equal opportunity in dating.

8 years ago @ Paging Dr. NerdLove - Geek Behaviors That Dr... · 109 replies · -45 points

Because we do want nice women. Any nice woman can find a guy in short order. He might not be the perfect guy, but they have options. There are many nice men who cannot get any attention at all.

Being rejected by the guy you want is different than being rejected by everyone.

8 years ago @ Paging Dr. NerdLove - How To Get Laid (Witho... · 2 replies · +5 points

Hey, thanks for this advice. It's hard to teach myself new skills, I don't know what I don't know. I am pushing my comfort zone on a regular basis, but you're right that I'm not learning as much from it as I'd like. I don't know how to change that and it's frustrating.

8 years ago @ Paging Dr. NerdLove - How To Get Laid (Witho... · 6 replies · -3 points

What am I supposed to be doing? Going out and meeting people, having interesting conversations, and trying to flirt when it seems appropriate? I do that roughly 4 times a week. Have been for over a year. The only thing I'm getting good at is handling rejection gracefully.

If there's homework I could be doing, I'd love to know what it is.

8 years ago @ Paging Dr. NerdLove - How To Get Laid (Witho... · 23 replies · +1 points

No, that doesn't imply that at all. That's an observation which is true independently of what intentions we may have. I wouldn't be comfortable sending dick pics even if it worked.

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