We should seek the Lord and prayerfully seek His will, online or not, before we begin any "dating" relationship. He will lead and guide us when we seek Him first and then listen/follow His direction.
Unforgiveness is cooperation of satan's schemes...I mean really, who wants to be on his team? (2 Cor 2:10-11) It is even harder when it is those that we love and are in our own family....
After we have been wounded, the only thing we can do is pray for strength and grace. It is a battle coming out of that to not become hard-hearted and even angry, especially when it is close and personal. Ephesians 4:26-5:2 have reminded me again and again to forgive and let go of malice and the idea that I have the "right" to be angry or want revenge. Forgiving seems hard but the burden of not forgiving is harder to live with and hurts us and others. People will always let us down, disappoint us and hurt us. Jesus never will. He will give us the strength and heal these wounds. He is faithful.
Five years ago when I found myself in this battle for my family, I had a woman named Lorena who was 80ish and a prayer warrior (she is now with Jesus) hug my neck and tell me, "Child, there is NOTHING that cannot be forgiven..." That was a turning point for me. The truth in that one statement helped me not only forgive others, but also myself. Her wisdom has kept me seeking His truth not the opinion of others or what they think is best but to rely on His Word and surround myself with women who love and feed on His Word. That was the turning point that taught me to really forgive, not hold onto bitterness and anger. It reminded me of all I have been forgiven for and my own sin as you say. It is those glimmers of truth that also give me strength.
I am involved with a Christian online mentoring group and 95% of my emails deal with porn addiction, affairs and insecurity we (women) struggle with because of it. I lay my head down on my desk at times and beg the Lord to give me the strength to read them. This destroyed my family and I pray that believers will rise up and stand against the strongholds that are prevalent in our church and culture. It is heartbreaking and wounds run deep on both sides.
As a wife who struggled with this, what was the one thing someone said that stands out the most? I have mine and I was wondering what comes to mind when you think about that pivotal moment where things turned for you.
Amen Emily. Blessed by your post today. Thank you.
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Melissa 
Brainchild