There have been actual circumstances in my life where I could and should have used this line. I am filing it away in case they recur.
Oh, I like that! Here I was, reading it like a pointed comment from a sibling: "SOME of us can't watch tv because we actually have to do HOMEwork, HANNAH"
Full disclosure: this comment was never directed at me, 99.5% of the time, I was the one doing homework and/or being sassy about it.
My neighborhood is predominately Hispanic and most of the cashiers speak to everyone in Spanish, but when they get to me they always switch to English before I say anything. I'd be insulted except that I speak exactly zero Spanish.
When my dad gets tan he could pass for Hispanic (he's Russian Jewish). When we lived in Arizona, a kid came up and started speaking to him in Spanish and he answered "No hablo Espanol" and the kid looked at him like he was a CRAZY PERSON because he had just spoken to him in Spanish so how could he not speak it?
Sentences I am perfecting for my trip to Paris:
"I'm sorry, my French is terrible"
"I speak a little but I can't understand"
"I'm sorry, I'm lost, do you speak English?"
This will be the coffee table book by which former Toasties will identify each other. Then there will be a secret handshake to confirm.
That top horse is obviously eating that roof with a side of blanket though. Blanket napkin?
I don't know if anyone will see this due to the overwhelming love and sadness on this thread, but hi. I'm Hannah. That was never a big secret; it's in my username. Anyway I just wanted to say that this is the most active I've ever been on an online forum (I was a Livejournal kid but that's its whole own deal) and I never imagined finding a group full of such insightful, funny, sympathetic, open minded people. The Toast made me feel like I could be myself in all my geeky, nonmonogamous, gender-confused, insecure and anxious glory, and you all would always get it. I have greatly appreciated my time with you, and a sincere thank you to you and to Mallory and Nicole (especially Mallory, whose writing voice and maybe face I am madly in love with) - you intrigued me with the monks and then cotched me like a kitten and the internet won't be the same without you.
I dislike Twitter strongly, I find it overwhelming, but The Toast has been an amazing way to help me get through my days without cracking (I work in human rights and the world can get you extremely down some days). If there was a forum somewhere I would 100% join.
AND GALAVANT. Everything is awful.
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hannahinbk 
Opus