IntenseDebate - theeisforerin

11 years ago @ http://www.rageagainst... - \"Come at me, bro\" pa... · 2 replies · +5 points

I agree with you, Minna. Children are people too. They're still learning. Punishments and consequences aren't ways of teaching, they're ways of controlling. My kids are not my adversaries.

11 years ago @ http://www.rageagainst... - That\'s what SHE said:... · 0 replies · +2 points

I too am appalled by the article on estrangement. It's baffling that the author sees no connection between her view that children have too much self esteem and the fact that her children no longer speak to her... her conclusion is that it is THEIR fault? This seems like something that authoritarian parents can pass around to justify treating their children poorly and tell each other it's all the kids' fault for being self-centered. Seems like an odd choice for RATMV since you do not seem to be that kind of parent at all.

11 years ago @ http://www.rageagainst... - On not “firepitt... · 0 replies · +2 points

I think I feel a little differently about it. Having BIG FUN is exhausting! It's so much work and often, for me at least, all the effort that goes in doesn't really feel outweighed by the rewards of putting on a show or event. I'm a person who really enjoys the small things more. My husband's more of a parent who wants to do ALL THE THINGS all the time, and after some of our more busy weekends or trips away, I am completely drained. And guess what, the kids are too! The three of us take days to recover and don't even leave the house until we are refueled by a whole lotta nothing.

Where I do agree with you is that we don't want our children to see us putting on our best faces for other people. To me that doesn't mean best tablecloth, but kindest words and gentlest voices. The thing I remember from being a kid was that my mom sounded SO different when she talked on the phone than she did when she spoke to us kids. On the phone she was friendly, amused, interested, and her voice even rose in pitch. With us she often seemed annoyed and worn out, and I resented that. I know I need to keep working on it but I am more focused on speaking to my children respectfully than dragging out the fireworks for them.

11 years ago @ http://www.rageagainst... - What I Want You To Kno... · 0 replies · +5 points

It was brave to post this. I just wanted to comment in case you get some blowback, which it looks like you haven't yet, thankfully. I would also suggest getting some counseling, not because you're doing a bad job, but because you sound like you could use more support. You are clearly trying hard and it's not easy. All the best to you.

11 years ago @ http://www.rageagainst... - Memory keeping in the ... · 1 reply · +1 points

I love the idea of this and I signed up when Amalah did a sponsored post about it. But the dang thing will NOT upload any photos!! Any option I try, the site does not respond at all to me clicking the button. So frustrating. What gives, One Day???

12 years ago @ http://www.rageagainst... - What i want you to kno... · 0 replies · +1 points

Thank you so much for linking to Jim Sinclair's piece! I hope people click over and read it, because it's SO important. I have a 3 year old who may or may not be on the spectrum; at this point we don't feel that it's relevant to pursue a diagnosis. My heart just sank when I read this post. It's not what I would want people to know about my life. What I would want people to know is that different is not bad, everyone has struggles and triumphs, and all children need to be accepted for who they are in order to thrive and grow. The author's feelings are valid because that's the way she feels, but I was honestly a little disappointed in Rage Against the Minivan for publishing this one in the series. There is enough negative information out there about autistic people, it's time for a new perspective.

13 years ago @ If This Is Motherhood - Crazy Nut Case. · 1 reply · +1 points

I have a book recommendation that may set your mind at ease a little: Free Range Kids by Lenore Skenazy. She talks about this media hype culture of fear and tries to soothe some of the anxiety by pointing out real dangers vs trumped up hype. It's good!

14 years ago @ http://yeahgoodtimes.b... - These are some things ... · 0 replies · +1 points

I'm pregnant with my second kid and: MOLES. Yeah they don't tell you about that either... you can get new ones, and the ones you have can get taller. EW. Tall moles?!!! And those don't go away. :(
My recent post Ear Rub Cold Turkey

14 years ago @ If This Is Motherhood - http://www.ifthisismot... · 0 replies · +1 points

I don't spank, but I'm not judging you for feeling this way. My suspicion, though, is that strong-willed kids like yours would probably not respond to spanking that well either. You may have had a different temperament as a child. I was spanked, but I was naturally obedient and easily intimidated, so yelling and other consequences worked just as well and the spanking was not really necessary, it's just what my parents "believed in." Other kids in my immediate & extended family were spanked but were much more unruly because that's just the way they were.

And I will tell you, I would NOT be judging you in the store either. Maybe 5-10 yrs ago when I had no children and was clueless (that old saying... "I was a great parent before I had kids!"), but not now. Some kids are just challenging and it doesn't always reflect on the parent's skills... sure, sometimes it does, but not always.
My recent post We Are Thankful That…

14 years ago @ If This Is Motherhood - http://www.ifthisismot... · 0 replies · +1 points

It was Parallel Play by Tim Page. Duh! Sorry, I am out of it today.
My recent post We Are Thankful That…

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