IntenseDebate - szielins

9 years ago @ The Toast - Pretty Much All Songs ... · 0 replies · +18 points

Six Flags...? Carousel Moldonato, is that you? It's me, Spud!

9 years ago @ The Toast - Pretty Much All Songs ... · 2 replies · +59 points

I'd swear I had Sweet Cornbread Oklahoma City Pogo Stick on vinyl. Had the lead singer with the nose and the guitarist with the hair, and that... fellow... who just stood there with the maracas. Never shook them or anything, he just stood there-- swayed every now and then. He was married to the woman with the headband and the fringed jacket who was always chewing gum. And in all the PR shots there was the Vietnamese woman in the rabbit-fur bolero jacket who always looked like she was freezing to death, but you never saw her on stage. Then the drummer got elected to the state legislature, was impeached, and went to prison for selling banana peels as a cancer cure.

9 years ago @ The Toast - Pretty Much All Songs ... · 3 replies · +88 points

Be right back, I'm off to compose "Juice Cleanse San Francisco Hoverboard".

9 years ago @ The Toast - I Have Acquired A Balc... · 0 replies · +3 points

Re: "I will plant basil and tomatoes and there will be no more hunger.": be warned that the balcony biome is not the same as the biome on the ground. That is, balconies are windy, and plants that would do fine in a garden at ground level will die horribly of dry and cold on a balcony.

On top of that, containerized plants are vulnerable to begin with-- two USDA Hardiness Zones worth, according to this article.

I gave up.

9 years ago @ The Toast - Classic Short Stories,... · 0 replies · +14 points

"I have to admit," said the maid to the painters' foreman, "it looks a lot better now."
-- William Gibson, "New Rose Hotel"

"Beat it, Vick, and don't come back."
-- William Gibson with Michael Swanwick, "Dogfight"

Turnips. Turnips. Turnips. Desiccated sausage, very dear. Moldy potatoes. Turnips. Turnips. Turnips. Turnips. Turnips. Turnips. Turnips. Turnips. Turnips.
-- William Gibson, "The Winter Market"

"No, I don't want to see your lousy renderings, even if they are in true 3-D." I snarled. "I'm overbooked, and the maids are threatening a walkout."
-- William Gibson, "Fragments of a Hologram Rose"

10 years ago @ The Toast - How to Tell if You're ... · 1 reply · +40 points

You get so goddamn English when you're loaded.

10 years ago @ The Toast - How To Tell If You’r... · 0 replies · +30 points

You've got one nickname, and it refers to your missing legs, being lame, being a snake, being limber, and/or being impotent-- but you still have such high levels of awesome, your CORPSE holds off invaders for nigh two centuries.

10 years ago @ The Toast - Girly Vectors: A Watch... · 0 replies · +35 points

Re: "even a traditionally `man' color like black is not always universally recognized as masculine": look, this is a real concern. Just the other day as I was shopping for lace curtains in my usual outfit-- black corset, black fishnets, black heels, black gloves, black bow-tie, black top hat-- the sales clerk addressed me as Miss Thing.

10 years ago @ The Toast - How To Tell If Someone... · 0 replies · +24 points

Re: "Turn into a sparrow. Do they turn into a hawk and follow you on th’wing?": acknowledge raptor privilege.

10 years ago @ The Toast - The Brush Off: A Brief... · 0 replies · +11 points

Whale head secretions work so well for what they're for, when we stopped killing whales, we started synthesizing some of them. The canonical one of these is cetyl alcohol, where "cetyl" is cognate with "cetacean"; it was first isolated from whale oil. Nowadays, we have to make cetyl alcohol from palm oil, so there's an irony for you.

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