sneftel

sneftel

145p

30 comments posted · 0 followers · following 0

9 years ago @ The Toast - Friday Bargain Bin · 1 reply · +101 points

Get metalworking supplies. Melt some rings down and make new letters. Grow an extra finger. SQUOTCHLE. It's what needs to be done.

9 years ago @ The Toast - Ayn Rand's Mary Po... · 2 replies · +190 points

BERT: Chim chiminy, chim chiminy chim chim cheroo, I does what I likes and I likes what I do

MARY POPPINS: Dominate me, you perfect man.

9 years ago @ The Toast - Horrifying Stories Mad... · 1 reply · +93 points

EPILOGUE: Years later, Oedipus still had all his eyes.

10 years ago @ The Toast - WHY THERE IS SUFFERING · 1 reply · +52 points

THINGS THAT WERE POTENTIALLY GOING THROUGH HANNAHFISH'S HEAD AT THAT MOMENT
* I know it's just litter to you guys, but I guarantee you, there is at least one being out there who is EXTREMELY INTERESTED in the location and disposition of this wing
* The wing is probably by itself, but the potential existence of mostly-invisible pigeons must be considered, if only briefly
* My god, it's the most beautiful wing I've ever seen. Where is the rest of you, pigeon? I HAVE TO DRAW YOU
* Look, there are just some situations that deserve a PROPER ACCOUNTING

10 years ago @ The Toast - Scenes From Glenga... · 2 replies · +36 points

I always liked to imagine that Alec Baldwin just randomly walked on set while taking a break some other shoot and started shouting at the actors, and everyone was so freaking method that they just went with it.

10 years ago @ The Toast - Erotica Written By An ... · 2 replies · +60 points

Alternate title: "Erotica written by Benedict Cumberbatch while he was getting over a bad breakup"

10 years ago @ The Toast - "The Lady in the Tutti... · 1 reply · +17 points

"If uninformed gringos asked her whether snakes roamed freely down the streets of urban Rio de Janeiro..."

Did that, uh, come up often? I have never felt less informed about inaccurate Brazilian stereotypes than I do now.

10 years ago @ The Toast - The Best Ingredients A... · 2 replies · +113 points

I love how Subway understands that its customers do not have the TIME for them to sprinkle on salt and pepper separately, and have therefore consolidated them into EFFICIENT FLAVOR DUST.

10 years ago @ The Toast - If Carrie Brownstein W... · 1 reply · +81 points

If Carrie Brownstein were your girlfriend, the velociraptor from Jurassic Park would be so pissed off.