And that disease is called assholitis.

We should embroider that on a pillow and send it to them.

Oh my god, Clearly Canadian. That's a flashback to my childhood right there.

First of all, you are grieving for your grandmother and you need to make sure to take care of yourself. I can tell you from very recent experience (my 94-year-old grandfather with dementia just died in February) that even though we all knew it was coming, even though he was a shell of my beloved grandfather by that point, even though we had effectively said goodbye to him years earlier, it still hurt. Whatever you are feeling at this moment is 100% legitimate and you have the right to look after yourself without apologizing to anyone.

Second of all, you are not responsible for your father's behavior. He's a grown-ass adult who makes his own decisions. If you feel up to dealing with his shit in order to spare your mum some headaches that's commendable BUT NOT REQUIRED.

Third of all, depending on where you are/where the funeral is being held, you/your mum may be able to bar your father from attending. If it's on private property (like a funeral home), a discreet word to the owner (or whoever you're working with there) will do the trick. And then let your father know he's not welcome and that he will be thrown out/arrested for trespassing if he tries to attend.

If there's no way to bar your dad, are there any people who will be there who could take over the minder duties? Like older friends in your mum's generation who might know your dad but are sympathetic to your mum and could be trusted to keep him in check? That might be the easiest route.

Maybe I'm reading too much into your brief summary, but it sounds to me like your dad is not a very nice human being, and maybe you should consider going low/no contact with him? The shit about marriage being forever, and criticizing/commenting on your weight, are not things anyone needs in their life on a regular basis.

Oh hey, my husband and I will be doing a similar drive (PNW to State College) with 2 dogs and a cat in about two weeks. (When we moved out here from the south, it was with one dog and 4 cats. We drove that straight, trading off on sleeping, and it was hell.) The move is a good thing, but the getting there is not going to be very fun.

Wait, are we secretly siblings? Because you've just described my mom.

Don't forget to prepare for the snake fight part of the defense.

Well, that was a horrifying thing to read first thing in the morning. She should 100% dump him. (I didn't read far enough to see, but she is 100% sure it was her BF she was interacting with, right? Maybe make sure, then dump?)

I think the reason I can enjoy this one is because it's comparatively harmless, you know? I mean, the draft hasn't been active in decades, and will not be for the foreseeable future, so it doesn't really matter which way this goes. Yes, the sexism is obviously still there, yes the draft in and of itself is horrible, but the stakes aren't super high, here.

Yeah, the part where the woman says that everyone in the clinic essentially gets danger pay because they are literally risking their lives to come to work every day--oof.