Recently I had a conversation with a very sweet long time seminary teacher. I was basically telling her how I have faith in my Heavenly Father but fear in myself that I might not understand what I am supposed to do. Her counsel to me was just be obedient. Read my scriptures, say my prayers, keep the commandments. If we adhere to strict obedience there really is nothing to fear because we are doing exactly what Heavenly Father asks of us and if he wants us to do something else he will prompt us to do so. I have been really bad about pushing him away recently because I feel like I have been left in the middle of the ocean with no lifeboat or land in sight and because I just wanted to know what he wanted me to do next to get to shore. But if I am being obedient to him there really is no need to fear even if I don't know the end of my trial. I may just need to keep treading water right now. So I decided I need to spend more time focusing on strict obedience and less time on searching out a solution to a problem that seems to have none. Now, you may already be doing these things so my thoughts may be of no help to you but I had a wonderful day today giving all my grief and fear back to my Heavenly Father and deciding to just concentrate on being obedient.

Another realization I had recently is that Grief and Gratitude can exist together :) Just because you are grieving or express your grief does not mean you are not grateful for the many other blessing you have been given. There really is no such things as closure with a pretty little bow on it and grief can sneak up on you even in your most joyous moments.

Those are my insights for today. I hope the same optimistic person wakes up tomorrow as I am usually known as a realist.