I actually think it's a good idea. My best friend went in to fostering. They believe in the ministry, and they took a baby in. And then they fell in love with the baby. When the baby was put up for adoption, they were so torn, because they don't have very much money for their own two kids. But they felt as if they couldn't say no; she already was a part of their family. So they adopted her, and she's fitting in great.

But honestly, they're still very worried about how they will pay for the child's schooling (my friend and her husband are older and never intended to have a baby at this stage of life). They worry about how they will pay for the child's summer camp. But they're just praying that God will provide.

But they know so many other foster parents who would love to adopt but don't because they can't afford it. So instead the child stays in the same foster home long term, and never really gets "adopted". I think what this law will do is just encourage kids who are in long-term foster homes, with families who really love them, to adopt those kids instead of foster them. Many kids are in the same foster home for 10 years. If you tell the foster parents, "you won't lose most of the money", then they would adopt. But remember that many of these people are very loving, but they have very limited incomes, and taking on a child and the cost of education and everything else is daunting, especially if the child can stay in your home anyway and you can foster. So I can see why the government did this.

Hi Lori! Thanks for linking up to Wifey Wednesdays! I always think of it this way: I'm the only naked woman my husband is allowed to see. So I want to make sure he sees me that way often, so that he doesn't feel like he's missing out!

I think the problem is that many women marry the potential inside their husbands, rather than their husbands! They think they can see what their husbands should be, and figure that they'll change once they marry. You really have to marry your husband, period. If God changes him, more the better. But you can't marry him with that expectation! I wrote about this phenomenon, too! And it ain't pretty!I think the problem is that many women marry the potential inside their husbands, rather than their husbands! They think they can see what their husbands should be, and figure that they'll change once they marry. You really have to marry your husband, period. If God changes him, more the better. But you can't marry him with that expectation! I wrote about this phenomenon, too! And it ain't pretty!

Sheila from To Love, Honor and Vacuum!

Suzanne, you're right on, and that was very well reasoned out. When I was in Sociology almost twenty years ago in university, that's what we were taught: that until reproduction were equal, women would always be unequal. So the problem was reproduction. Babies were always seen as a problem.

Lori, great post! I think one of the things you said at the beginning is also really interesting: there's this weird idea that we have to completely financially stable (by which we mean own a nice house, have a nice car, have good furniture, have a middle class lifestyle) before we can have kids.

When we had our babies, we were living in a small two-bedroom apartment. We didn't have a car. My husband had a steady job, but we were saving radically for a downpayment, so we didn't spend much. We bought all second hand. I loved thrift stores. And our kids never knew the difference.

It's too bad people have bought the lie that you we need STUFF to be good parents. We don't. We need God, and we need a good marriage. The rest will take care of itself!

Sheila from To Love, Honor and Vacuum!

That's a great story, Lori! And it reminds me that often when I'm out and about I don't actually have a Bible on me. I used to have a small one that fit in my purse, but I lost it. I think it's time to get a new one...

I think you're so right. And what's interesting is that in over 90% of divorces, it is women who file. Not men. We're the ones who tend to become dissatisfied, and I don't think it's because the men are pathetic. I think it's because we often have unrealistic expectations. We need to get our eyes off of those expectations on onto how God wants us to love our husbands!

Thanks for participating in Wifey Wednesday!

Sheila from To Love, Honor and Vacuum!

Isn't there some way you can MAKE the church hierarchy live by their own rules? I'm honestly not trying to cause offense. But I'd love to know what the long-term plan is (and I mean that sincerely). I love the Catholic church, even though I'm not Catholic, because of its traditions and its stand for Jesus. I'm worried that the Church isn't abiding by that. But can't you change it? Do you all have no power at all? That just seems really strange to me, and I'm wondering how, short of prayer and an act of God, that can be changed. Why are they bishops if they're not pro-life? I guess I just don't get it.

Can I ask an honest question, Suzanne? You know I love your reporting--I read you faithfully, and just love your stuff, especially all the pro-life stuff.

I guess it's just that as a Protestant I find all of this really, really mind boggling. If the bishops are this corrupt, and not abiding by Church teaching, then why are they still bishops? How does this happen? I don't get it. I know we just inhabit two different worlds, but I've been in several churches where the higher-ups have been doing something wrong, and the church just voted them out.

I hear you about your 30s--although in my case I had most of the losses in my 20s! I just turned 40, too, and from what I hear it's all easier now! We're more sure of who we are. Our kids are coming into their own. Our marriage is maturing. We know God. And this is the decade where we get more sleep, rediscover makeup and hair salons so we feel better about ourselves, pursue our dreams, and grow with God. My girls are teens now (I had them in my 20s), and they are so much fun (so much more fun than I was)! And they really love God. We can play real games (like Monopoly) and not just Candyland, so family nights are much more fun. They watch real movies. They talk about real politics. And life is just, well, good.

Sheila from To Love, Honor and Vacuum!