I sure have been humbled this week via Lori's blog. I have been cleaning cobwebs and examining many areas of my heart. And I'm thankful for the reproofs I have met here. Funny, I have made some decisions that I haven't even shared yet with my husband as I have tried to just do it, start living His commands for me as a Godly wife. I also haven't said anything to the one who challenged me to do so (yet he will know now!) as I wanted to be sure that my reasons in my heart were pure - that I am changing for Him (our Creator) and him (my husband). Simply put, I have been answering Lori's blog title for myself! :) This is another truthful and amazing post. Thank you, Lori.

I just ordered my copy! I am a neat-nic all the way, yet I live with others waaaaay less so - LOL! I am interested in finding out how she does it, understanding that we all 'live' in our own families differently. What I am most curious about though is her story, her brokenness. I may not find anything in her book, so I have marked her blog to come back to later. I cautiously post this here, not out of shame, nor as a victim, but because our society has allowed this topic to become a hush-hush one and usually makes most uncomfortable ... I am always drawn to others who have also experienced abuse. I have physically and emotionally been abused by parents, and sexually by other family members. It is through His Grace, Love, and Mercy that I am as 'normal' as I am today! With that said though, I find that I will always struggle with how I respond to some parts of family life, this part of me is always a shadow that at times can feel as if it is waiting to overtake me. I liked reading Erin's description of her relationship with her husband and children; outside of my relationship with God, my immediate family is the most important to me. I cherish it, fear for it, desire it, and want to live it Godly. Family relationships are precious and are very much a part of a joyful life. Thanks for recommending this book, Lori!
In Him~
Sandi
ps - I have read your and Ken's response from the 8th. I am praying about his challenge. He can really get to the heart of it - it IS fear that keeps me from just doing it. I do know what I need to do, and the Bible is always my first go-to book. I never thought of my getting another book as simply putting off what God is commanding me to do in my marriage. Now that it has been said, I think that may be true! Thank you both so very, very much!

Lori,
Your explanation here is how I read Ken's thoughts.

This was not an easy post for me to read because I am guilty of arguing some points until I win the battle. I do love my husband, I do know what the Bible says about my role and treatment of him, I just don't always follow it. I also have a lot of baggage that makes me this way (NOT an excuse, but sure is why I react the way I do at times).

This part really is true for me: “I know what you are doing right now when you say you are sorry, or you walk out of the room, and I don’t appreciate being treated like a child. You are just trying to manage me with your conflict resolution skills.” I have just about verbatim said those words; instead of using the words 'conflict resolution skills', fill in with 'used cars salesman' - though he is not one! Just yesterday I pushed his buttons as I felt he was putting me on the same level as our 12 y/o daughter and that truly upsets me. We do not communicate well and it is mostly my fault. I have the desire to grow and change - for my marriage, to honor God, and for myself to find that joy that I see others have. FYI, we do not have a terrible marriage, but I know it sure could be a lot better! Do you or Ken have any books to recommend? Last fall we both read the respective Pearl's books for husband and wives. Anything else?

I will read, and re-read this post. I will study Ken's thoughts, and will be in prayer while doing so. Thank you both.

In Him~
Sandi

Lori,
I can not tell you how much I have enjoyed stalking your blog this afternoon (LOL)!! This post, along with another about losing your joy, are touching a nerve. No one knows me here, so I can admit to not liking my life much anymore; I am not content. I KNOW what God says about this, and I am guilty as can be. I don't want to be this way. I have many, many, many times wondered where the older (to me this does not necessarily have to be in age, but maturity in their Christian walk) woman is? I have prayed for a mentor. Someone mentoring in love, not being judgmental and holier-than-thou. I'm not even looking for help in our home, just someone to sharpen me. Well, maybe that isn't entirely true ... I wish I had a friend to walk along beside me to teach me to sew, garden, can, etc. :) I am so afraid of mean Christians, I find it safer to simply be in my Bible daily - everyday with our girls, as well as alone. *sigh*
Thank you for encouraging women to reach out. I hope someday I can glorify and honor Him by being able to meet the need of another as I myself desire now. By any chance do you know anyone in SW Ohio?!! :)

I really enjoy your blog.

In Him~
Sandi

Oh goodness, I would like to think I would be as mature and Godly as this woman, but I'm afraid I would not. I have read Debi's book, several times, and I love her heart for God and commitment to follow His ways. I find that after several back and forths, I usually give up on a person, I wipe the dust from my feet and move-on. I do try to be careful when making this harsh decision - I want to be sure that I am being grounded in His truths and not simply my opinions. That is being on the good end of the stick ... now, as for being on the other end, the one receiving the rebuke, well read my very first sentence. Actually, I pray about it and consider the one rebuking me. I have been rebuked by some very lovely Christian women. Most was in love and had excellent points. However, at times many rebukes have been the woman's opinion and sadly legalistic confusion. I struggle with church-folk (isn't that sad) as a lot of the times I find they are doing to God's word what you discovered happening to Debi's ... the words and views simply are NOT there in the Bible. I could post examples, but that is not the intent of my comment and I certainly do not want to start a debate (please know that I am not saying you would, I'm just being careful as one in particular seems to be a hot topic for our family). I loved this post! Thank you for sharing it. I have a lot of respect for you, and now this woman. I especially identify with her statement about not being afraid to admit when I'm wrong - that assurance and peace comes only from truly knowing Him. Also, Proverbs 27:17 is a verse I teach my girls as they choose friends. I pray you are having a wonderful weekend!

In Him~
Homesteader Sandi