UMMM, so my wife is moving out this week? We are separating??????

We're living apart for a while to work on some stuff independently, not as a step in the divorce process. But it's scary??? And sad??? And also exciting??? And even though we are separating I am really excited to date my wife????? It is all very surreal.

Toasties, I have not been focusing on myself, on what I need and want. Shifting my focus onto myself feels GOOD. Also scary.

Talk to me about losing yourself in other people. Talk to me about codependency. Talk to me about your separations, no matter how they ended.

That usage is older than you are. Respect your elders.

i’m so sorry, you must be mistaken, i’ve actually never met anyone in my whole life

correct

The Raven Cycle by Maggie Stiefvater! I'm on the second of four books and it is DELIGHTFUL. Really indulgent YA fantasy with A+ teens.

READERS! Got any recommendations for fantasy or scifi books by women authors? Or queer authors?

My wife got me a Kindle for my birthday and I'm reading WAY MORE as a result. I think bc the Kindle makes reading as easy as watching TV? I hate to think I've been watching TV because I'm too lazy to find a book/go to the library BUT IT'S TRUE.

"With a trailer ... earned the title of most-disliked film promo in YouTube history and a Twitter storm of attacks"

Wait, am I the only one who didn't know about this? I'm googling around and I'm 99% certain I've stepped into one of Margaret Atwood's dystopian futures.

oh no the compartmentalization one gave me such a sad

Also, LOOK HOW CUTE DOGGY BACKPACKS ARE:

HI CHARLIE YOU SO CUTE

On barking: You're probably not going to like this, but a super common reason for barking is that doggo is under-stimulated. They bark bc they're bored and barking is a fun & self-reinforcing behavior (it's like the dog version of scrolling mindlessly through FaceBook?). Potatoes are working dogs, right? Herders? Working dogs need like ~4 hours of physical and/or mental activity every day to be satisfied, non-barky pups. Using aversives (spray bottle & etc.) can help direct that extra energy away from barkng, but often you can solve the under-lying problem by giving doggo more to do.

Annnnd that might explain why taking him outside every hour is keeping him quiet? It scratches the itch.

The absolute easiest thing you can do to tucker out a pup is strap a doggy backpack on him anytime you go on a walk. Fill it with heavy stuff (frozen water bottles are great in the warm months) and voila, tired potato! The more you walk with him, the better. Also giving him approved things to chew can help and takes almost no human effort!

Other good but more energy-intensive options are training of any kind--mental stimulation drains them just as much (more than?) physical stimulation. Obviously agility and etc is great, but just spending 30 mins every day teaching dumb tricks at home can make a huge difference (e.g., stay, sit pretty, go to various parts of the house on command, etc.)

For maximum tired-making, you can combine walks & backpack & training. Strap on a backpack and train good walking manners while on walks. I have a low-energy dog and she can do like 15 minutes of training-while-walking before she starts sighing heavily and trying to lay down.

There is plenty of encouragement out there to pursue the writerly thing, so I'll go a more white-republican-uncle direction:

Work is a game you play to enable yourself to have the life you want. Your work is not your life, and it doesn't have to be (shouldn't be?) an identity. It's a game. Assuming your job is temporary means you're sidelining yourself before you get a chance to even TRY playing.

What would happen if you threw yourself into your day job? What does the route to higher-paying, more interesting work look like? What can you do to get there?

Can you cultivate yourself as a writer AND cultivate a day-job career that isn't terrible?