Ennui

I do hope the next person who decides to expend seductive language on you has a better sense of the possibilities open to both of you. Hugs.

I agree with Sexperimentation! I'm really sorry to hear that your course coordinator was unhelpful. I always think those kind of essay 'bombs' are great places to open up discussion and get students to work through those kind of statements critically. Juicy stuff: So, what's interesting about rape? Is 'rape' possible in animals? Biological imperative vs conscious consent in humans?

Where I teach, I get a lot of blithe homophobia and degrading generalizations about prostitutes in student work. I smile, rub my hands together, and think... yummy. Today's the day for a nice, meaty class.

There's a marvelous opening monologue at the beginning of the film version of Kobo Abe's Woman in the Dunes. It's not in the novel version, and I can only really paraphrase: men and women demand innumerable proofs of each other's goodwill.

Your essay reminded me of this, and the way we use language as 'incantation' and practice our 'open sesame' tricks. If they never worked, people wouldn't keep using them. I think it's worth pointing out that women use different but similar incantations to get what they want from men.

The irony is that, using language this way - as incantation - almost always sets up a depersonalizing dynamic. It serves a tremendously isolating world-view because it situates everyone as elements of a transactional interchange.

Meanwhile, if anyone was simply honest and said: "Look, I'm horny and I don't know you. I'm after sex, and perhaps you might want that too. Not that this could preclude a richer involvement at a later time, but right now... I'm just after some sex. Are you interested?" it might work, or not work, but at least it wouldn't be committing the sin of dissembling. At least it wouldn't immediately situate everyone - petitioner and petitionee alike - in poorly written farce. Yet our culture finds that sort of a statement very offensive. It's as if it's the one thing you can't say.

It's sad that, in a way, "Show us your tits," at least has the merit of being direct and truthful. And the easy response is just ; "No." Ian's long, wordy efforts were basically the same thing, only they were more manipulative and burned much more time.

The term 'seduction' is an interesting one. It's a lovely word, a complex word. I've always felt it denoted a kind of delicious portal that led to interesting and exciting places. When one employs seductive language just to get one's penis stroked to orgasm, it's such a waste of good language.

As an author, I find this sort of behavior appalling. It's rude, it's pushy and it's bad for other authors. No reader OWES you a review. Ever. If they are kind enough to take the time (unpaid and unrewarded) to write one, then, whether it is a good or bad review, an author should be grateful that a reader bothered to give that much thought and spend that much time with their work.

Just off the top of my head, and with no references whatsoever, I'd guess that the confluence of envy and otherness might have something to do with it. These 'Others' who have not conformed to the socio-cultural rules to which 'you' feel bound. They may appear to be benefiting unfairly from their non-conformity. It enables a sense of self-identification as victim. Once we consider ourselves victims of someone else's 'unfair advantage', there seems no end to the atrocities we will allow ourselves in the name of redress.

But I'd also like to note that this phenomena often seems to be at its ugliest during deep economic recessions or during times of dramatic political instability.

I agree. Too many five star reviews make me shy away from a book. There are very few perfect books in the world, and it would have to be one to make me give it 5 stars.

I'm glad you are shouting. People should shout about this.

it's reprehensible. And it is a terrible erosion of the noble art of book reviews, which can be an enrichment of the reading process.

Ultimately, reviews are written for the reader, not the author or the publisher or the retailer. Payment for a good review completely turns the purpose of a review on its head. It no longer serves anything but the people making a profit.

*blush*

Thank you. What a great compliment. I really wish I could say that I know much about BDSM or lifestyle stuff - I really don't. But yes, I do so understand the dynamics of power. They've fascinated me all my life.

This is the music business. BUSINESS. S/m imagery is incredibly hip and salable. *sigh*