I am thankful for my children, and even though it makes his life a challenge, my son's autism. It makes him who he is, which is a warm, caring little guy with a unique and funny personality. I love the way he and his little sister interact, without using words. They mimic each other, using noises and simple hand gestures. They chase one another around the house. They giggle and squeal and fight over toys. All without words. They are so close, and at this point neither of them knows he is "different". It is beautiful to witness.

My DS (age 4) was the king of the "flop and drop" and it made me feel like I couldn't take him anywhere. He flopped in the street, busy parking lots, the grocery store, and the park. His flops were almost always associated with me trying to hold his hand while we walked.

His ABA therapist made him a little social story using PECS that said "It is time to walk with mommy. I will hold her hand and walk. I will not lie down. If I walk, I will get a cookie." At first I gave him a cookie for walking just a few steps holding my hand. Eventually we could walk all the way to the car before giving him the cookie. He still flops on occasion (especially when he is tired) but it has reduced a lot. Now if he flops I say "Do you need help walking? Mommy carry you?" He hates being carried, so he'll usually get up.

Another strategy I use sometimes is putting him in a backpack with a leash. I get some funny looks, but he likes being free to walk, and I can still stop him from running out in the street.

When my DS was diagnosed by the developmental pediatrician, she also scored him in the 97th percentile for attention problems. He is like Moe - can't attend to any one thing for more then 30 seconds. He can't even sit in his chair at dinner for more than a few minutes. Our doc said many, many children with autism also have ADD/ADHD, and their lack of ability to focus can sometimes be helped by ADHD meds. We agreed to try a stimulant, but it aggravated his autism symptoms (repetitiveness especially) and made him irritable. Next week we are going to try a non-stimulant med that will hopefully slow him down enough to fully participate in school and therapy. I don't know how you feel about meds (I know it is controversial!) but it might be worth asking his doctor if he could benefit from meds now or at some point in the future.

I am so sorry this is happening to your child. I am worried about what will happen when my son is older. Right now there is some minor teasing (he is only 4) but he is kind of oblivious to it. Even though it doesn't bother him, it bothers me. I am impressed with the other moms for reaching out to apologize. That takes guts, and I wonder if they would be willing to work with you on a long term solution. Now that their children have been schooled on bullying and disabilities, maybe they can be lookouts for your son in the schoolyard, standing up for him and treating him with respect in front of other students.

I am an elementary school teacher and a mother to a child with autism. As someone posted above, the goal should be 10 minutes times the grade level per night. So if your 1st grader is getting more than 10 minutes per night, the school isn't following the guidelines. That should be pointed out to the principal. If your fourth grader with autism is taking 2 hours, that is way too long. Modifications need to be made to the IEP that state his homework load should not exceed 40 minutes per day.

Your school should reduce homework for all students. There isn't any solid research showing that more homework than the recommended amount improves learning, so it really is just a waste of everyone's time.

You are not being a bad mom by not wanting to spend your whole evening struggling over elementary school worksheets - we are all exhausted in the evening, especially if our kids do afterschool activities. And when are you supposed to enjoy family time? When I was a kid I wasn't sitting at the kitchen table doing endless pages of homework every night. I was sitting in front of the TV with my parents and siblings, eating garbage and watching the Cosby Show. And somehow I turned out OK. ;-)

I have a hard time fighting in the IEP because my son goes to school at the same school where I am a teacher. It would be hard for me to sit in the IEP and chew out my own boss.

I was told at his last IEP that 60 min of speech therapy per week is the "maximum that the school provides, for any diagnosis." They tried offering me only 30 min., because he is verbal (although its almost all scripting) and I pushed for the full 60. I got it, but later the teacher approached me to lay a guilt trip on me because "some children who are way more severe than yours don't get 60 min."

My son has come a long way with PECS. However, he did have some limited speech in the form of echolalia when we first started therapy (at age 3). When we started using PECS his meltdowns and tantrums disappeared almost immediately, as he was able to ask for things and understand his schedule. That was wonderful. It has been several months now and he has progressed from making simple PECS sentences like "I WANT WATER" to actually saying some of the words out loud, in the appropriate context. We try to be consistent using the PECS visual schedule at home, as it really makes a huge difference with transitions.

I am in the exact same boat as you. 3 y.o. boy with autism and a 22 month old girl. Can't go ANYWHERE alone with them, lest I lose one of them or DS has a huge meltdown. However, I've set up our fenced-in yard to be as fun and "self-directed" as possible, so I can do a little gardening while they play. We just got a cheap swing set from Walmart with a slide and a teeter-totter, and I bought two kiddie pools, one for water and one to fill with sand. I run the sprinkler or hose for them pretty much constantly (DS loves any kind of running water) and I put out a big bucket of sidewalk chalk for DD to draw with. She writes all over the siding on the back of the house, and DS washes it off with the hose. They could do that all day long. I do hire a babysitter to help me take them out somewhere, about once a week.

We just did our first autism walk and I had a similar reaction. I thought I could hold it together, but seeing all those families...I cried. I don't think anyone could tell who had autism in our family until my son had a big, loud meltdown halfway through the walk. But for the first time, DH and I were totally comfortable with him doing it in public. Everyone understood. One woman even came and offered us help.

Please pick me! My son has had multiple meltdowns today and I really need the laugh. Plus, I am spending all of my discretionary income on ABA and don't have the $10.99 to spend. I think I am one of Big Daddy's biggest fans - whenever I think I can't take autism one more minute, I pull up his blog, have a big laugh, and somehow manage to get through the day.

Thank you for the post! I am torn though - I am a full time teacher, and DS attends the special needs preschool in my school. His teacher is highly skilled in her job, but she is just...how do I put this mildly...an effing b-word (to adults, not kids). Difficult to talk to, impossible to collaborate with, her aides are terrified of her, the works. We have contributed a lot to her classroom, but volunteering is out of the question because of her personality. I know she works hard though. I would love to convey my appreciation to her, but frankly she scares the crap out of me.