My daughter makes shawls on a tri-loom. If she misses ONE nail it shows and messes up the entire piece. She can find it fairly quickly (usually) and has unraveled quite a bit when she needs to.

Dropping by from the A to Z Road trip!
tm

zoecottage.blogspot.com

I love reading the comments people leave about your posts. They are insightful and thought provoking.

I think the saddest thing about using external beauty to form an attachment or opinion about a person is that it is skin deep. Age, illness, injury, and a hundred other things can change the way a person looks, but inside, where their true beauty (or ugliness) lies is hidden until we look past that outer layer. I don't know what decade it was that the song came out about marrying an ugly woman to be happy for the rest of your life, but I always thought there was some truth in it. Women who are not the typical beauties often have unplumbed depths--they can cook, they are funny, they are amazing mothers--and so on. They have had to "prove" themselves in ways that those who are beautiful often don't.

Have you ever read the old Reader's Digest story about the eight cow bride? She was considered to be the ugliest, shyest girl on the island, but the richest man fell in love for her. The going rate for a bride was one cow, three if she was REALLY pretty. He paid her father eight cows for her because he wanted an eight cow bride. Because of the price he paid, her entire demeanor changed, She came out of her shell, and turned out to be breathtakingly beautiful to any who saw her.

Pain, sorrow and a feeling of lack will cause any to be "ugly" to the undiscerning, but once there is joy in the heart, a beauty and radiance surfaces and hides any physical imperfections. As for dating a pretty woman, as long as her beauty shines from within, and is not JUST outward, it shouldn't matter--because I think everyone here wishes you happiness and a fulfilling relationship.
tm

I love your transparency. When you share about your pain, it is clear you aren't asking for sympathy, but just letting us see you are real. Thanks for that.
tm

Ornery and I have recently begun telling each other every day that we are perfect. I tell him he is perfect, flawless, righteous, beloved, prosperous, and a whole list of other positive affirmations based on the truths that we have "in Christ" because of his death, burial and resurrection. In turn, he tells me the same thing, and that I am beautiful. We have always had an open and caring relationship, and since he took a lot of abuse from those who should have supported him in his youth, I have learned to always offer kind remarks, never negative ones.

Sometimes these messages come in the form of a text at some point during the day, other times while we are sipping our morning coffee in the dark early morning moments of quiet, I will turn to him and honestly, with feeling, tell him "You are perfect." The first few times we did it, it felt awkward. It felt like we were not being honest, because we can SEE all the flaws within ourselves. It took a few weeks of speaking daily in this manner before we were able to really internalize and accept it.

This is the message of Grace and Faith Righteousness--the stumbling stone of the Gospel. In Christ, we are flawless in God's sight, not because of what we do, but because of what HE did and our association with Him. If God says we are flawless, righteous, holy, etc. then who are we to argue?? So, now we are simply agreeing with what HE says about us. Accepting our identity in Christ makes us so much more aware of the importance of LOVE in all we say and do. It has made us more eager to be "perfect" and tap into God's grace (His power and ability) to live above the pain, sin and lack we have lived with all our lives. What it has done in our relationship is nothing short of amazing. We have never fought (31 years of marriage) and have always built one another up in the presence of others, but this new time of affirmation every day has really been a huge thing.

Good post, Dan. I hope one day you will find that woman who will look through God's eyes and see you as HE sees you--then tells you how much she appreciates who you are. Blessings to you!
tm

Born in 1960--the result of an illicit affair--my mom and her husband raised me as their own. He never told ANYONE I was not his!