May I recommend "The Handmaid's Tale" if you want to properly feminazi the lad. Also, because I couldn't post on the HappyWhatev on the Twain thread: "A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court" is pretty funny. And good on you, Dok - you're raising a fine young Zoom. Happy birthday, Kid!
Beautiful post, Dok. My great-grands came here from Bari, Italy on one of the last boats allowed in from southern Europe - neither could read or write in their own language and effectively cut off all ties with their family to come here, work their asses off, and be prejudiced against every immigrant group that arrived after them. "We were told the streets were paved with gold," my grandfather told me. "We found out there was no gold and we had to pave the streets." All true. But those spics? Lazy SOBs. And Phyllis Schlafly can eat a bag of UNSALTED rat dicks - because salt makes shit taste better, and that old bat deserves no favors, no how.
Gifford Ave is still nice, as is in my 'hood (Union St / S Clover), but things have been getting rough lately - over 20 shootings here this year, and that includes people actually hit, not all the times they miss. Sad. I love "Big Blue Father" - I'll have to tell my dad that one.
Goon! I assumed your stint in Poughkeepsie was as a college lad from a distant land and not as a fellow Wappinger's native and Beemer Brat. (When I once asked my father what, exactly, he did as an engineer at IBM, he answered, "I'm a Yes Man for the Military Industrial Complex." - he was, of course, eventually "surplussed.") My parents still live near Bowdoin Park and the IBM Country Club is now a properly private one. It must be asked, Ketcham or Jay?
Just do NOT blame Poughkeepsie for this Snooki lady - she is from the fucking sticks across the river known as Marlboro or Marlborough because they can't fucking decide how to spell it. And, yeah, she ain't from Jersey - more like downstate NY where we have our (abundantly) fair share of loud-mouth eye-talian types who only irritate the nice shore town folks who are forced to rent to these douche bags who give the rest of us shoobies a bad name. *bronx cheer*
*Tosses cigarette into the bottle-laden waves, turns, walks away with the odd gait of a, ya know, "funny lookin'" guy with magically clean spats.*
<guitar squeal>
And who are these people going to shoot, exactly, when the "government" comes to take their guns? Cops? Our Heroic Troops?
I work with cops. They spout this shit non-stop. It's mind boggling. Guys - HELLO! You ARE the government!
Four words: A well regulated militia.
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Madam Killjoy 
Thingamajig