My therapist explained that anger is the shield behind which all our more tender emotions hide - fear and vulnerability and (long list here) - Unpacking anger is usually a very deep subject -

Mom here - You simply do not have any idea what your family of origin is going to give you (or not)
In our Reunion support group not one single Mom or Adoptee would prefer to go back to wondering and the "not knowing" Nobody handed you the crystal ball to say how much more peace might be coming your way if you found them.

Original Mom here - to me Adoption Fog looks somewhat like Stockholm Syndrome whereby hostages often bond with their kidnappers (and even when mistreated) they often come out of captivity with feelings of huge empathy and heaven knows what else including caring a great deal for their oppressors..
This is another meaning for the FOG - it stands for something - I believe the last 2 are Obligation and Guilt - maybe the first is Forgiveness (anyway like that) - which Adoptees have to recognize are a total series of manipulative head games that have been inflicted on them by their Adopters (who in fact were people they used to trust.) - nothing at all that bio children are given to deal with,.
Adoptees have to come out of all that to find themselves -