IntenseDebate - lynnemiller

6 years ago @ http://www.adopteerest... - Don\'t You Have Anythi... · 0 replies · +1 points

Great post. You're a great writer, Deanna. It is so true that the vast majority of people think adoption is this beautiful thing. They cannot understand the down side. In my case, the secrecy surrounding my adoption left me feeling betrayed. I look at photos of my adoptive parents and wonder who were they really? I cannot imagine adopting a child and not telling her the truth about her origins.

10 years ago @ http://www.adopteerest... - Why Many Adoptees Incl... · 0 replies · +1 points

Good luck to you, Deanna. I'm adopted and I also did DNA testing for the same reasons. It's interesting to connect with "cousins" who are enthusiastic about genealogy. How do you feel about actually meeting your father if he's still living? The thought actually terrifies me. Not that I'm on the verge of finding him or anything.....:-0

10 years ago @ The Declassified Adoptee - \"It\'s my Job to Pay ... · 0 replies · +1 points

Amanda, you are fortunate to have such a thoughtful friend.
I've run into similar situations when I mention my sister. For most of my life, I thought I had one sister but recently I discovered I have a biological half-sister. When I refer to my sister in conversation, I add location so people know which one of my two sisters I'm talking about. Just another complication in the life of an adoptee. Sigh.

10 years ago @ The Declassified Adoptee - Being Adopted and Moth... · 0 replies · +1 points

Amanda, your story illustrates how backward schools still are with respect to understanding families formed by adoption. It's surprising in this day and age, given that adoption has been around forever. Teachers should recognize there are many ways to create a family, adoption being one of the more ordinary alternatives to biological children. I am sure your son is not the only child at school with a non-traditional family tree.

Thanks for sharing your story!
Lynne
Revelations: Opening Up About Family for Adoptees and Adopters http://wp.me/p406ST-91

10 years ago @ Lost Daughters - How Long Are Adoptees ... · 1 reply · +3 points

Hi Deanna. You make some great points. Perhaps I am fortunate to have been adopted privately. As far as I know, there was no adoption agency involved in my adoption so I haven't paid any fees to an agency. I was an "undocumented" adoptee until 2012 when I got a copy of my original birth certificate with my birth mother's name in writing. That's the only adoption document I have. My adoptive parents never told me I was adopted. I've learned a few things about my birth mother's health and I've been writing about those discoveries on my blog: http://lynneamiller.com Like you, I had a birth mother who died of cancer at a young age (48), so I will have to talk to my gynecologist about this new fact. My mother died of breast cancer. I don't know a thing about my bio father. I also dropped some cash on a DNA test hoping it will connect me with some relatives on my father's side. We certainly put a lot of effort into learning about our history. It shouldn't have to be this hard or costly. Good luck to you. Lynne

10 years ago @ Lost Daughters - The Reach of Adoption:... · 1 reply · +2 points

Hi Jenn. I am impressed by how considerate you and your husband are toward one another. That's a good omen for your marriage. It is interesting how the adoption search process changes us in unexpected ways. Learning about my biological family has made me more grateful for what I have in my present life. I have not completed my search. I am waiting for the results of a DNA test and the wait is forcing me to be patient, which is a good thing. Thanks for sharing your story and good luck in your new home! Lynne

10 years ago @ The Declassified Adoptee - The Declassified Adopt... · 0 replies · +1 points

Congratulations, Amanda. You've accomplished a great thing. Writing a book is no easy feat and you've done it. Your blog is wonderful. Good luck promoting your book. Lynne

10 years ago @ http://www.adopteerest... - When People Dismiss Yo... · 1 reply · +1 points

Excellent post, Deanna. I think in many people's minds, adoption is always wonderful and good, a "win-win" situation for all parties involved. Anyone who has been adopted knows better. I found out I was adopted as an adult, after both of my adoptive parents had passed away. What a shock! This year I began searching for information about my bio family and writing about it at http://lynneamiller.com. One newly found family member questioned what I can possibly get out of this information at this late date. He didn't understand my curiosity. Obviously he was not adopted! Lynne

10 years ago @ Lost Daughters - The Guest List Question · 0 replies · +2 points

It's nice that you were able to invite your sisters to your wedding, Jenn. Not inviting your bio parents also makes perfect sense. I would have done the same thing in your situation.

Lynne
Revelations Opening Up About Family for Adoptees and Adopters www.lynneamiller.com

10 years ago @ Lost Daughters - Not Holding My Tongue:... · 0 replies · +1 points

Very thoughtful post, Lisa. I know what you mean about adoption. It's so very serious and at times draining. No matter how painful it can be, adoption is something we need to talk about in an honest way. My parents never told me I was adopted. I found out as an adult and recently started searching for biological relatives. I blog about the journey at Revelations, http://lynneamiller.com One good thing that's come out of my search is learning something about my medical history.

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