I feel like this would work equally well with Pharisees:

But when he saw many of the haters and Sadducees coming to his baptism, he said to them, “You brood of vipers! Who warned you to flee from the wrath to come?"

And when the haters saw this, they said to his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?”

But the haters went out and conspired against him, how to destroy him.

“But woe to you, scribes and haters, hypocrites!"

I briefly toyed with the idea of doing a homebirth (with a qualified midwife!) for my last birth. I'd had three uncomplicated vaginal deliveries, I live less than ten minutes away from two major medical centers and a very good children's hospital, and I like being home quite a bit. The thing that actually really decided against it for me was the clean up. A lot of blood and bodily fluids are involved in a birth. It looks a bit like a murder scene. I did not relish the idea of having a stain on my floor that I could point to and tell guests, "That where Baby F was born!" (I for completely real had a Bradley birth coach in my first pregnancy who had a stain on her basement rug where one of her kids was born. No thank you.)

Does the midwife do the cleanup? Is it the father's penance for knocking you up? Do you hire a crime-scene clean-up crew? This has always been a mystery to me.

I had three unmedicated hospital births, and they were genuinely good experiences, as far as births go. For my last, I was induced and figured I'd do the epidural. Wow. I can't believe I ever gave birth without one. My labor involved watching a marathon on cable (which we don't have at home) about extreme couponers and then taking a nap. My husband ate Wendy's for three meals in one day, which made it pretty much his best day ever. I was gushing about the anesthesiologist so poetically that it started to make my visitors uncomfortable. After my nap, I rolled over 90 degrees, suddenly felt like there was a head in my vagina, and upon examination there was. One push (or, really, once I stopped trying not to push), and she pretty much just fell out. Pretty much the best hospital birth you could have.

I would not have a homebirth, much less an unassisted one, given how paranoid I am, but hospital births can suck, as noted, and that's an issue. With my fourth (and last!), I had an epidural (my first epidural, and it was wonderful), and I woke up from the nap I was taking and rolled from my side to my back, and suddenly the baby was in go position. And I told them I was ready and really needed to push, and the two med students and nurse in the room were all panicked and telling me not to push and trying to get a doctor in (it was a madhouse in the hospital that night--16 babies were born). Have you ever tried to not push out a baby that's ready to be born? It is horrible. And kind of impossible. Finally I was like, "I have done this three times before and we are four smart and capable women, so let's just do this." Or I was like, "If I don't push now I am going to die." One or the other. Anyway, she was out in one push, and it was absolutely within the capability of the med students and nurse to handle. There is no reason to yell at women not to push in almost any circumstances.

Then I didn't sleep for 36 hours, because the hospital was so noisy, and they almost wouldn't send the baby home because she was slightly jaundiced (well within, my ped told me, the normal range of newborn breastfed infants), and then she had a false positive on a disorder they started testing for on the newborn screen just a year ago that has a true positive rate of 1 in 200. (For every 200 positive screens, 1 child will have the disorder.) I also had to attend a class on newborn care to leave the hospital, even though I had three children I managed to not kill as infants at home. It would be nice if we made hospital births a little more pleasant. It might lead to less people seeking out terrifying alternatives.