Man I so hear this! My youngest, especially, at 9 years old, is technically non-verbal but he has some emerging language for anyone listening at all (the school and I disagree on this one, and I might be just a little bit ticked off about that still).

I had this big long comment and it got sucked into outer space. *whines*

We've run into the awful and the amazing, and I'm always surprised by the amazing. I still hate seeing parents shuffle their kids away, or desperately look anywhere but at my child. Funny thing is, my guys really don't care - and Bobby will *loudly* ask if he can introduce himself to "the stranger" while Logan's already over there trying to give hugs ... they tend to figure out real fast my kids don't really care what they think of them ... they're prepared to pay attention to them anyway :D
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So glad to see you put to words what I was thinking. That this happens is a tragedy, but the parents are in the middle of their worst nightmares during and after (especially after) and being blamed for the reality of autism is an additional cruelty they really don't need. Logan has done the here and then gone thing so many times I can easily imagine (fear) this happening to him, despite the fact that he tends to respect the household boundaries now more than ever before.

Great analogy with the splinter. I know that deep traumas in the past led my life choices for a long time, and it took a great deal of soul-searching and healing to move beyond that (mostly). I find, when you deal with abuse or other deeply traumatic situations, you can heal from the experience but still ache because of it - similar to taking that splinter out and still occasionally feeling a twinge there.

Praying for you all - it so hard to see someone you love in pain, much less be the person in pain ... we'll keep praying.

I think I'll piggy-back and post about about this with a link to your post Rob - such great discussion here. Not many folks understand our story -- we also have three special guys, they all share the same rare disorder, all are on the autism spectrum, and two still have active epilepsy (one has outgrown his seizures-for now) and there are tons of other diagnoses I don't want to include for space limitations *grin* ...

When we had our oldest, we knew that we would have a 50% chance of the same genetic disorder occuring in another child, but we found that out WHEN I was ALREADY pregnant with our second child. Not as much was known about our family's rare disorder. At that point we had no reason to think our sons would be as affected as they now are.

When we got pregnant four years later, it was a surprise and a failure of our measures to NOT get pregnant, and the pregnancy was rocky from the start. Despite that, we knew going in that our chances of having another special needs child were high - but there was no way I would consider an abortion (though MANY urged me to do so) - I feel all my children are special gifts from above, and that there is a plan at work here.

While I was pregnant with Logan, Andywas diagnosed with both the same rare disorder and as having mild autism (we had originally been told didn't have the same rare disorder as his brother - and now he actually did because they changed the diagnostic criteria).

What I've learned is that you face life with the dignity and grace of the worst and best time mixed together - and sometimes, you don't get to choose being a special needs parent. Life is about the ups and downs.
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Oh no! {hugs} and {prayers}
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{{hugs}} Wish I had the answers to help you but know that we ARE still praying and hopefully that many minds together can help bring answers!

We're praying, Rob, {hugs} To you and Lizze and the whole gang.
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Can I answer something for you? Or you know my email so you can drop me a line if you want.

Man Rob, we've been there, and sometimes we are still there. Especially now that we are going over to a more whole foods oriented diet and trying out the Gluten Free diet for Jim's serious tummy issues. It's so hard to ask for help. It's hard to need to do that, and it's hard to receive it. But we can do it, because that's what our families need. Sometimes there is more month left at the end of the money ... {hugs} to you all and I am praying.
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