I've been with my partner for a long time, and while I know its the price of admission for lasting monogamy, this is the part of a crush-turned-relationship that I am most wistful for. The heart-pounding mix of adrenaline, desire, and nervousness when you realize the thing you've been (maybe even unconsciously) wishing for is happening, and the entire universe seems to focus in on the two of you. Its the stuff of cliche pop music and bad fan fiction and its amazing, even if (if I'm lucky) I'll never get to experience it again.

The first four panels of this story have stuck with me forever in how real they feel. My most painful breakup felt like this, like I had to make myself small, like I had to turn away and physically retreat as much as possible from the moment. I was 18 and thought my entire life was over. I had made a gift to give him (I had no idea what was coming) and was holding the box the entire time we spoke. When he left me sitting by the train stop, I had no idea what to do with it, and so I brought it home and it sat in my closet for years. I wonder if someone threw it away.