Breccia, I have the same resolution! I always wanted to be published on The Toast but never got my shit together. No more excuses for me, I'm going to write and I'm going to start having things published!

I listened to a song last night called "Motherfucker got Fucked Up" which was totally about #misandry and it made me think of all us beautiful tropical fish here at the Toast.

It's not a selfie, but a photographer friend took this picture of me and it is Too Witches to go unshared.
https://www.facebook.com/PhotographyBySB/photos/a...

sweet baby seals, I'm gonna barf in a good way.

SORRY EVERYONE, MY BAD

NO JOKE I TOTALLY AM

Hillary Clinton, If you are reading these comments:
A photo of you and my mom has sat on our mantel for the past 24 years. Circa 1992, you were touring some pediatric oncology wards. My brother was two years old and in one of those wards, being treated for leukemia.

The story goes, you showed up to the ward and did your rounds. One of the women you met was wearing a royal blue velour track suit. The story goes that you said "I hope your son makes a speedy recovery" and the woman in that really unfortunate blue track suit cried as you hugged her and shook her hand. That woman was my mother.

I'm sure you've met so many people in the course of your career as first lady and then senator, but I want you to know that my brother will turn 25 in a few months, and he is doing great, and there is still a picture of you and my mom shaking hands as she chokes back tears sitting framed on our mantel. During this entire campaign my mother has been an ardent Hillary supporter. When you ask her why, she has always said "I met her once, and she was a really lovely person, even though I cried on her."

And now I learn that you like two monks and published something on The Toast that caused me to let out a whole string of expletives (thank GOD no one else was in the office). We are not worthy. And because my mom never got to say it: Thank you.

... Hilary Clinton broke CleverManka...

It's Ironic (in the Alanis Morisette fashion) that I get Hamilton tickets the day The Toast closes. I will go back and read all those posts and actually get them. I will laugh alone into the night. (and then I will take my feels to slack cuz I'm pretty sure I saw a Hamiltoasts channel there)

The REAL reason The Toast is ending is because they need to go on a Top Secret Mission and it's not safe for us to know details